Why Do I Attract So Many Sociopaths?

She Flew

By: Susan Deborah Schiller

Why have I attracted sociopaths everywhere I go? What causes them to be drawn to me? So many times I've heard it's because I'm "too nice," "too trusting," and "suffering from low self-esteem". 

Over a period of 14 years I have studied sociopaths, up close and personal. I have listened to their stories for hours at a stretch. I have interviewed sociopaths, recorded their fears, and attempted to sift through their lies.

I understand one thing only: They are TRULY EVIL PEOPLE!

I say that, even as a person who grew up allowing mosquitoes to bite me, because I believed they needed nourishment.  At all cost I avoided stepping on bugs. I loved the unloveables and I hugged the untouchables. You would think I would have GRACE for people who are in such great need. I did.

I learned the hard way that grace for truly evil people makes you a partner to their crimes.

Evil people are a different species of human, in that they are highly demonized. They are sub-human and if you engage with them at their level, you will quickly be overwhelmed, confused, and used for evil's purposes. Like I said, I learned the hard way. And I'm only just beginning to learn.

Let me just say "NO," it was not due to my low self-esteem that I attracted sociopaths. Yes, I did suffer from low self-esteem and that made it worse, but it wasn't the reason. Yes, I am a nice person, but chronic niceness, although a problem, did not attract sociopaths to me. No, it was not because I am too trusting. That is not what got me dragged me through hell backwards.

Sociopaths are drawn to people with a huge heart, a high spiritual energy, or what you might call a "juicy soul".  Giant parasites! Simply put, they want to eat you alive, suck out all your energy, and then throw you away like garbage. Plain and simple. 

It's your GOODNESS AND KINDNESS that they are drawn to. Like moths to a FLAME OF FIRE, they are attracted to you. It's NOT because you have faults, dear heart! No, not at all. It's your personal POWER, your RADIANCE, that draws them in!

How do I know? Because I've logged in thousands of hours of listening to them! And they all say the same thing. 

So, how do you break free? Keep in mind that although I am free today, the sociopaths still circle around me… but they cannot touch me. And I will tell you how it came about in my own life story. It began with a dream, as recorded in my journal…

I am entering a war room and the General comes to me, putting his palms over my eyelids My vision had been snowy up till that point, like an old fashioned television at 3 am, after programming was ended, with nothing but snow and static on the screen. His touch restores my vision.

"I want you to memorize this," the General commences to advise me, "First, the ending is the same as the beginning. Secondly, the people you thought were your best friends will betray you. And people you thought to be enemies will become your true friends." 

He removes his hands from my eyes and my vision is clear and sharp. He tells me I'm ready for my mission and hands me a list of names. "These are the people who will betray you," he says.

"No, it's impossible!" I reply, shaking my head in disbelief. The general warned, "They will try to kill you. If they can't kill you they will try to silence you. If you cannot be silenced, they will fear you."

I leave the war room and right away I am attacked by a hoard of snarling demons who pin me to the ground, raking their razor-like fangs and claws across my flesh, tearing my heart wide open. There is no escape. I am pressed to the ground, shaking, hoping the end will be quick.

I close my eyes and then I see. The way out is quite clear! I had forgotten I am a heavenly creation, made in God's own image. I am not bound to the world's system and ways. I have a divine inheritance. As I ponder these truths I discover I have wings. A moment later I am airborne! To my amazement the demons, being worldly, earth-bound, creatures, cannot follow me.

I look down at the angry mob, and with my new vision, I see that each demon was on assignment by a friend whose jealousy or coveteousness or envy or hatred or anger or whatever negative force had launched a demonic assignment. My mission is to evade their reality and create my own reality, by choosing love.

We are meant to be the happiest people on earth. We overcome this dark world by the Blood of the Lamb (unselfish, sacrificial love that lays down her life for her friends) and by the word of our testimony (telling our story in such a way that it's full of God's Truth and Laws).

Betrayal is the opposite of the Blood of the Lamb. We cure the sting of betrayal by the daring unfolding of our story, each truthful word like a feather. Our wings lift us up above the demonic hoard.

The written transcript of our life story, when told in God's truth for our lives, contains the DNA of heaven. This written truth becomes the prayer that rewrites our future!

Okay, so that was just a dream, right? But shortly after I dreamed it, it happened. "Silence the Abused and Cover Up the Crime" is a chapter in my life story book. The names on the list were of people who actually did betray me.

Abusers manipulate their victims into silence. They delight in using your own family and friends against you. I believe what saved my life was speaking out, and speaking again and again, even when they threatened to kill me.

Molesters don't like their victims to get noisy! Abusive systems will warn victims to be "nice" – to have "grace" – and, in short, to be silent. It's a slow suicide.

What did people do before we had such an extensive medical empire? They sat together, ate together, and listened to each other's stories. They knew each other well. They loved each other well. They told their truth!

Empathetic listening can save a victim's life! But even if you don't have someone to listen to you, you can still rise up and fly.

Rising up and flying on wings as eagles is the best way I know to end the threats of sociopaths. I believe they are demonically empowered. They are after your soul, and the only way to save your soul is to lay down your life. What that looks like to you will likely be different than what happened to me, but it will likely be similar.

I laid down everything: family and friends, ministry and businesses, home and assets. I lost everything, but I got my soul back. I didn't fight for anything. I turned the other cheek and walked the extra mile. It felt extremely unjust. Maybe I should have fought, but with so much corruption in the legal and religious systems, I do think it was the right move for me, at that time. I can't advise you as to what is the best move for you.

God is restoring the "things" and "people" to me, better than before. Endings are simply new beginnings, and better ones, at that! It's better not to be surprised by all the truly evil people and events in this dark world, but instead, to be amazed and full of awe and wonder that there are truly brilliant and loving people here… stars that hold out the Word of Truth.

I say, "Let it begin with me." I will be what I wish others would be. Let's live the 13th and choose Love! We can rule in the midst of our enemies and grin in the face of disaster. For me, this adventure of flying high above the demonic hoard has been about TRUST. Because faith is everything. The greatest things in life are FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE.


My Full Story     What I Believe    Contact Me

With all my love,


Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.  
Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.

Copyright © 2010 to 2015 Team Family Online, All rights reserved.   For reprint permission or for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Susan Schiller March 18, 2015 at 2:36 pm

One of my favorite Scriptures is where David asks the very same question of God…. why does He bless the wicked? Why do they seem to prosper when righteous people are beaten up, even killed? Look at Jesus' life, for example.

Psalm 73 The Message (MSG)

An Asaph Psalm

73 1-5 No doubt about it! God is good—

    good to good people, good to the good-hearted.

But I nearly missed it,

    missed seeing his goodness.

I was looking the other way,

    looking up to the people

At the top,

    envying the wicked who have it made,

Who have nothing to worry about,

    not a care in the whole wide world.

6-10 Pretentious with arrogance,

    they wear the latest fashions in violence,

Pampered and overfed,

    decked out in silk bows of silliness.

They jeer, using words to kill;

    they bully their way with words.

They’re full of hot air,

    loudmouths disturbing the peace.

People actually listen to them—can you believe it?

    Like thirsty puppies, they lap up their words.

11-14 What’s going on here? Is God out to lunch?

    Nobody’s tending the store.

The wicked get by with everything;

    they have it made, piling up riches.

I’ve been stupid to play by the rules;

    what has it gotten me?

A long run of bad luck, that’s what—

    a slap in the face every time I walk out the door.

15-20 If I’d have given in and talked like this,

    I would have betrayed your dear children.

Still, when I tried to figure it out,

    all I got was a splitting headache . . .

Until I entered the sanctuary of God.

    Then I saw the whole picture:

The slippery road you’ve put them on,

    with a final crash in a ditch of delusions.

In the blink of an eye, disaster!

    A blind curve in the dark, and—nightmare!

We wake up and rub our eyes. . . . Nothing.

    There’s nothing to them. And there never was.

21-24 When I was beleaguered and bitter,

    totally consumed by envy,

I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox

    in your very presence.

I’m still in your presence,

    but you’ve taken my hand.

You wisely and tenderly lead me,

    and then you bless me.

25-28 You’re all I want in heaven!

    You’re all I want on earth!

When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,

    God is rock-firm and faithful.

Look! Those who left you are falling apart!

    Deserters, they’ll never be heard from again.

But I’m in the very presence of God

    oh, how refreshing it is!

I’ve made Lord God my home.

    God, I’m telling the world what you do!

The Message (MSG)

Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson


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