Faith as a Catalyst for Hope and Love
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
There are still days when I feel disconnected… like my brain has a huge lag… when I feel lost in the dark. The neuroscience behind pathological love relationships helps me to understand there will be these kinds of days. It takes a long time to recover from a face-to-face encounter with pure evil which is what I call having been married to the devil… a sociopath. I was married twice to the same devil, different men.
Most people – even benevolent and kind people – don't understand. They say the wrong things, even though they mean well and are truly trying to help. But in the long run, you are mainly on your own. Not even most therapists truly understand the nature of evil and its effects on the human mind, soul, and body.
One thing that has helped me the most, in this long and lonely road to freedom is writing my morning pages. I show up with my pen, by faith. And I listen for my Father's voice.
Today I saw an explosion happen as Hope collided with Faith. It was the sense that something truly does happen when we simply show up. Rest is a Weapon, you know?
Hope is attracted to Faith, like a strong magnet. It collides with Faith, causing an explosion. There is a fusion that takes place, which is Love.
Love overcomes all evil. Love pouring into my brain changes the landscape of my mind. I think better thoughts. I feel better. My outer world slowly changes to conform to the state of my inner world. It requires fortitude.
FORTITUDE is a word that came to mind as I paused to ponder the physics of faith. Fortitude is the courage to face great pain or sorrow. I believe that courage comes when we hit the ground on our knees. We cease striving and just rest.
We remember God's promises and we rest in His nature of Goodness, Kindness, Patience, Peace, Joy, and Love….
To me, having fortitude is the ability to pray from a high place – that place of seeing God's promises come to pass, no matter what the circumstances of my mortal life look like.
Fortitude evolves into faith.
What I put my faith into, when added with feeling and focus, leads me to freedom.
This is how I am emerging from 33 years of abuse. I'm not all shiny and shimmery yet, but I'm taking one small step every day. Whether backwards or forwards, I just keep taking steps. And you can, too, my friend.
FORTITUDE… the ability to REST in God's promises to carry you through. That's all I know. It's all I want to know. There is no end to studying evil, to try to comprehend what truly happened. I've learned enough to educate myself in what really happened… but to really get to the bottom of it all is a bottomless pit. What I really need is to RISE UP.
Faith is the catalyst, if you want to feel HOPE and LOVE rise up from within.
Let's do it, my friend!
With all my love,
Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.
Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.
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