My Magical Life: The Day I Broke Up With Normal
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
I tried very hard to conform to this world, but I broke up with normal. Like a porcelain statue, the world of illusions shattered around me, some of the shards piercing my soul. Pain inside and pain outside, no nonsense sentinels alerting me to the toxic waters I was swimming in, endangering my soul.
If it weren't for the riptide that pulled me under, I would have conformed. I might have fit in. But I would have lost my soul and missed out on the magical life I was designed to live… a life of abundance and joy.
I don't believe in a "sinner's prayer" anymore, unless it's something authentic and not part of a 5-step program to salvation that ultimately results in spiritual conformity to mediocre living.
I placed my life on the altar and allowed God to kill me, that part of 'me' that was struggling to fit in with the world, even while functioning as a professional leader inside the church walls. If I hadn't been pushed to the edge, I doubt I would have taken the leap, but this New Testament verse really challenged me:
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Roman 12:1-2 ~ The Message ~ bold mine)
I believe schools programmed us to "succeed" through blind obedience and churches programmed us to let others think for us.
Little did I realize I had made idols of teachers and preachers, twisting my gentleness into compliance and my meekness into subjugation. Yet I knew something was wrong, inside of me as well as around me.
I dislike our violent culture. It's noise grinds into my joints and tendons and jars my spirit. I don't like competition and greed. Violence, arrogance, and lies make me want to flee. I don't understand these things. And yet I've discovered bits and pieces of these hateful things reside in me, more than I want to know.
I mourn for the Great Loss of mankind. Our collective soul. I hunger and thirst for righteousness and justice to fill our land. I believe whole cities will be set free. I've seen it in my dreams and it awakens my faith to believe for the full manifestation of freedom in our land.
Nothing could stop the Kingdom from advancing, if only a small minority in the Bible Belt would unbuckle their "Christianity" and instead buckle on the Belt of Truth. That's one of my dreams.
Oh, I'm so glad God brought my enemies into my life to kill me. Yes, I was literally terrorized, taken for nightly interrogations, slandered, and accused of all the heinous crimes my enemies were, themselves, guilty of.
My enemies mirrored to me the darkness in my own soul. My own weaknesses were laid bare. How can I not leap for joy and rejoice for the persecution and trials!
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds… – James 1:2
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. – Romans 5:3
From Isaiah 40 –
Those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles..
What is a magical life? The more people who actively allow the illusions to shatter, who reconcile with their own part in the dark chaos of this world … who wake up, embracing the reality that we have been transformed by Christ's love and that the dark side actually has NO power of its own… only as much as we ALLOW by our own thoughts and belief systems…. the BETTER off our lives will be. That better life is abundant life, and that's what I call a magical life – a life without limits.
With all my love,
Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.
Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.
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