By: Susan Deborah Schiller
Sharing a condensed version of a chapter in my memoir…
My husband and I were only 40-some years old when life as we had known it ground to a sudden halt. We both lost our jobs and moved to the wilderness following a severe spinal injury.
After two years of continuous medical treatment, including 10-surgical procedures, I brought home my bionic man. With a neurostimulator implanted in his spine and hooked up to a computerized power unit in his hip, he was given morphine, oxycontin, percoset, and other dangerous narcotics in doses normally reserved for terminal cancer patients.
Shall we talk about hallucinations, paranoia, depression, suicide threats, and more? Okay, no thanks!
What were we thinking, moving into such a challenging environment? Were we crazy? Maybe, but God promised me that the land would pay for itself, and one day, it did…
The Vermillion River roared through our front yard, emptying into the more placid Clark Fork River. Our nearest neighbors were bears, muskrats, otters, beavers, eagles, moose, and mountain lions. I had close encounters with all of them, but I'll save those adventures for another time.
Basically, it was mission impossible: Keep your husband alive, earn a living from home, and don't get killed in your front yard.
It became two years of continually facing the impossible, and learning that nothing is impossible.
I heard Papa God say, "Nothing is impossible. Keep dreaming. Whatever you hope for, put your FAITH, FEELING, AND FOCUS into. It will come to pass. You need me and I need you. We are One."
I knew I had to take a leap of faith, doing my part, so I started an online business, working from home. It meant sales – cold calls. I was an introvert with no sales experience. But I had one gift: I knew how to listen to stories. As I made sales calls, I listened attentively to my prospects, only asking questions to learn more about their needs and wants.
"You're really listening to me!" they would exclaim (the ones who didn't hang up)! And so I built a sales pipeline, and in one year, that pipeline was kicking out sales.
My pipeline was all about stories. I was simply myself… a city girl living in the wilderness for the first time, nursing a disabled husband, encountering moose, playing games with my horse who spied on me through the office window, hoping I would come out to the porch to feed him a saltine cracker or carrot.
I didn't know what else to do, so I just shared stories of my life and listened to my prospect's stories. I did business on my front porch, surrounded by forest and a river running through our front yard.
Making money – a lot of it – was the turning point in our lives. It gave us enough to travel to conferences, to see out an alternative healing for my husband.
My husband was instantly healed at a signs and wonders conference in British Columbia. Three weeks later, a film crew arrived and produced a documentary that was distributed worldwide, all within four months. The pressure was on to leave our home in paradise and enter ministry school.
Once we got to ministry school I was told my business was ungodly. They told me I should be planting churches, not doing business. So many voices… all caught up in the confusion of the miracle, the movie, and the message of divine intervention.
I let my business go, but a part of me died with it. We sold our house, just as the real estate bubble popped. And we hit the campaign trail – I mean, itinerant ministry.
For the next three years we traveled, living on the profits from our house. I got sick and almost died. We ended up in Wyoming, managing a ranch.
My husband left me and moved on, saying, "I have to follow God and God told me to leave you." He married someone else, taking almost everything we owned. For a long while, I was the Lone Rancher.
Once again another "Mission Impossible": Cowgirl up. Keep 30 horses, 100 cows, 2 bulls, and 4 goats alive and well with no transportation on the edge of the Wind River Reservation.
I learned to herd cattle, to ride, and to chase Rez cows into the desert. I learned to survive in a harsh, unfamiliar world.
In the divorce settlement, for which I had no legal representation (I lived in a daze, at first not even being able to talk.) I received a broken down truck. My mechanic, after repairing numerous problems, told me that if he had given his wife this truck he would be accused of trying to kill her. My truck had been cleverly rigged to fail, and yet I had driven over two mountain passes and each time my vehicle failed, even though it was in the middle of a desert, both times, God had mechanics pull up behind me within minutes… before I even called for help.
Next, an even more challenging "Mission Impossible" appeared on the horizon: Survive the gauntlet of homelessness, poverty, and post-traumatic stress in a strange land.
"Why me? What have I done wrong? I've been praying, fasting, and seeking God – why do all these evil things keep derailing me?" I wondered.
I recalled God's words to me: "Nothing is impossible… put your faith, feeling, and focus into your desire and it will come to pass."
Faith + Feeling + Focus = The dream will come to pass.
I believe we're given "mission impossibles" because there's something we need to learn, to prepare us for the real mission up ahead of us.
Our feelings are electrically charged – they have power. We can harness the energy of our feeling, and focus that energy – like a laser beam – with the promises of God, right into the heart of the Impossible Thing.
God once said to me, rule in the midst of our enemies. Not "over" your enemies, but in the midst of your enemies.
The LORD will extend your mighty scepter from Zion, saying, "Rule in the midst of your enemies!"
One of my core beliefs is: I am groomed by God to grin in the face of disaster because His Love never fails. He is supremely confident in His ability to convert evil into Good, and therefore, I can face the future with confidence. I can create my world. I no longer need to bow to forces that are challenged by my truth; instead, I triumph over those forces and put them on the run.
Shorter version: The enemy groomed me for abuse; God is grooming me for His Glory, and to partner with him in making the world new and beautiful.
That sounds powerful, doesn't it? It's a buried treasure – one that I had to dig up out of the broken mess of my life. Lies, like dirt, covered this treasure and I had to sift through each one (You're not good enough – You'll always attract abusers – Living is too hard; just die – You'll never make it – Not enough money – and so much more).
The lies created a negative electrical charge and created more negative events for my life. I had to keep digging, to find the beauty and truth in those painful events. With each truth, my "electrical charge" – my vibration – increased. I began to attract good people and things into my life.
I could have chosen not to write about the pain and shame, but in telling my story there is freedom!
Your turn now… Let's reframe your past by taking that string of challenging memories and finding the common thread that weaves through the pages of your life story. What core belief does that thread expose? By identifying that core belief, even if it's been buried for years, you have a powerful energy to harness and use to create a beautiful future.
The Author of your life invites you to begin writing the next chapter, using the treasures gleaned from your past! Let's write ourselves into a better world!
With all my love,
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