Gaining Heaven’s Perspective

Gaining Heaven's Perspective

By: Susan Deborah Schiller

From the series, "Diary of a Battered Preacher's Wife"

November 14, 2011

I want this Scripture to be true of me: “I stayed faithful, though bedeviled, and despite a ton of bad luck.” (Psalm 116, The Message)

Passion… I've lost it. Identity… gone. Thoughts of ending it all come, but I don't have the courage to do that. Just tears for today… but this little flame keeps flickering, that is fed up with victim mentality and wants to see God make something beautiful of this mess. Only He can.

Isolation, hiding … living like a hermit… Family and friends, all far away, say to "move forward" and put all this in the past. Feeling stuck but knowing I know how to get out… so I have to ask the question, do I really want to keep going?

Will it make any difference to tell the truth? R is backed by so many good people and even I have been sucked into believing him, until recently. I can't leave my granddaughter here where R feeds my family a daily dinner of lies. I have been silent far too long…. I stayed with him far too long.

So I soak in these promises and I declare them for my family's life:

1 Samuel 2: "God brings death and God brings life… God brings poverty and God brings wealth… He puts poor people up on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, restoring dignity and respect to their lives."

Zechariah 9: "I'm declaring a double bonus – everything you lost returned twice over! …"

Zechariah 10: "God-of-the-Angel-Armies will step in and take care of his flock, the people of Judah. He'll revive their spirits, make them proud to be on God's side…. They'll get a fresh start, as if nothing bad had ever happened. And why? Because I am their very own God, I'll do what needs to be done for them…. and their children will get in on it too."

Isaiah 34: "Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble. Say to those with anxious hearts, take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance. The recompense of God will come. But he will save you."

Isaiah 46: "I've been carrying you on my back from the day you were born. And I'll keep on carrying you when you're old. I'll be there, bearing you when you're old and gray. I've done it and will keep on doing it, carrying you on my back, saving you."

Isaiah 49: "No one who hopes in me ever regrets it… I'm the one who's on your side, defending your cause, rescuing your children. And your enemies, crazed and desperate, will turn on themselves, killing each other in a frenzy of self-destruction…"

Isaiah 51: "I personally watch over you."

Isaiah 55: "I'll see to it that everything works out for the best."

Isaiah 61: "Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt, your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever."

Okay, I'm back on track. I want this Scripture to be true of me: “I stayed faithful, though bedeviled, and despite a ton of bad luck.” (Psalm 116, The Message)

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Note from the future: I am supplying explanations and observations from the "future me" – who I am today – which will explain what you are hearing in this story. Join me below for an up to date discussion, if you wish!

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With all my love,

Sue

Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.

Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.

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