You are Altogether Beautiful, My Darling

You are Altogether Beautiful, My Darling

By: Susan Deborah Schiller

Dedicated to Wayland – a man who makes the world a better place and me a better person!

He didn't pick the perfect wife. No, he picked the broken one… the rejected one, the wrinkled one full of blemishes and spots. He chose her at a time when many ungodly Churchgoers and preachers had kicked her around, stabbing her in the wounded places, and then left her for dead.

He chose the one who is not easy to love. He knew the memories would take time to heal.

He wasn't certain she would emerge from the darkness of her past, but he was willing to risk everything for Love. For so long she had called Good evil, and Evil good. Religion and its control system has a way of blinding you.

Very few come out of a system like this without cracks in the foundation of their very identity that extend to the core of their being, crushing the life out of them like the tentacles of a sprawling sea monster.

Hidden at the bottom, amidst the dark waves of abusive memories lurk landmines, including misunderstandings and twisted truths, buried in the sands of the soul.

Love is messy. Definitely risky. Totally worth it!

Is that how God felt when He sent His only beloved Son to us on Christmas Day? It was not the easiest assignment and definitely not the best time for a vulnerable baby to be born. Christ left His home in glory to be born in a stable, to grow up in Nazareth, to die as a criminal. Yet, Love like that brings Good News!

His birth made our Christmas day possible.

Here we are, in our pajamas on Christmas Day, no makeup (that's normal) and with tear-stained cheeks (well, that's fairly normal, too). This daughter of God received not only gifts but meaningful love notes attached to each gift.

The note pictured at the top (You are altogether beautiful, my darling, and there is no blemish in you." Song of Songs 4:7 ) was attached to a necklace made by my husband's own hands.

"Liberty" is the caption on this gold coin encircled in braided silver. He explained to me the meaning behind "gold and silver" – that they are "pure" and "rare" and "precious".

I'll try to describe how it felt to receive a gift so well thought out, so precisely designed, so precious… it feels like liquid Love pressing through my chest and going down right into my heart and lungs and even deeper yet. Into that bullet-ridden hole where an enemy grenade had once exploded, piercing and shattering my soul.

I opened another note and my heart nearly stopped! You know how certain promises in God's Word leap out at you and they become lifelines of Hope when you're drowning in a sea of despair? You hold those promises for years and they keep you afloat, but still you're lost at sea?

Pain is a gift, you see. Even when it seems impossible to go on. When we don't understand God's ways, we can learn to trust His heart. I believe that's the real path to "enlightenment." We can only discover the Light in the dark night of the soul.

"Two mercies for every woe" is a promise I've been holding tightly to my heart. Justice and righteousness are the foundation of God's throne, and that's what comes to mind when I hear the promise in Zechariah and when I see it played out in Job's life.

The note pictured above was taped to a package of silver coins, double the amount that had been stolen from me. I had long ago forgiven the man who stole my coins but I guess in some way I still grieved the pain of loss upon loss.

More than the weight of the luminous coins in my hands, HOPE and FAITH settled even more deeply in my soul, filling that gaping wound with a Love that says, "I see you". The gift He brought to me through my husband is a booster in Faith, an injection of Hope, and an infusion of Joy!

I think of so many of my sisters who have been through hell the past few years. Many of them have lost everything and have had to start over from scratch more than once. Perhaps you, like them, have big dreams that seem to have been washed up on the shore, never having been given the opportunity to sail past the breakers that toppled your ship.

Your hopes get dashed by the incessant pounding of the waves. It seems too hard to believe again. Feeling shipwrecked and damaged beyond repair is where so many of us have lived these past few years.

You are not too much, dear heart. You are seen.

The waiting will not last forever. There are two mercies for every woe and so much more!

I have not yet seen the fulfillment of all the promises I'm holding onto yet. There are still many more breakthroughs ahead for me. It begins with waking up to reality and facing the giants, one-by-one.

I feel like our Lord is saying to you and me, "Awaken, My Bride, and I will make you whole. You may feel shattered to pieces but I'm holding the pieces of your soul and making beauty out of the ashes. Come dance with Me, my darling!"

Through eyes of Love, we are awakening to our BEAUTIFUL lives. Love stirs and awakens beauty, and beauty heals the soul.

To awaken is a painful journey from living the life we thought we were supposed to live to the life we can only imagine. I dare to believe that you and I can co-create new lives of abundance, beauty, and joy, in Christ! Heaven is only a whisper away.

Let's dream big, okay? Let's make a quantum leap!

My Full Story     What I Believe    Contact Me

With all my love,

Sue

Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.  
 
Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.
 

Copyright © 2014 Team Family Online, All rights reserved.   For reprint permission or for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Maria February 18, 2015 at 11:26 pm

Please send me all your letters /articles.Most informative site.

Thank you

Maria

Reply

Susan Schiller February 19, 2015 at 8:52 am

Hi Maria,

It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for requesting my letters and articles – you are welcome to join the email list at the top right corner and they will automatically be sent to you, along with personal notes.

Thank you! 🙂

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Mary January 1, 2014 at 8:19 pm

Thank you, Susan, for sharing the story of God's redemptive and restorative love.   My son and I are in much need of experiencing this in our lives due to the emotionally/legally cruel treatment by his dad.   It has been wonderful to watch your love story unfold.

Reply

Susan Schiller January 1, 2014 at 8:40 pm

Dear Mary,

It’s so hard to understand cruelty – there is no way to understand it, really… or how long it can last, either… but God really does see you and your son. I pray comfort for your heart, discernment, and for Heaven’s avengers to lift your burden. Please know you are never alone <3

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Linda Honea December 28, 2013 at 9:50 pm

Sue, I read and re-read this 'fairytale' and I am rejoicing with you!  Oh what a love the Father has for you… for us!

I was pondering your gift of coins and I remembered the woman who lost a coin… Luke 15

8 “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Won’t she light a lamp and sweep the entire house and search carefully until she finds it? 9 And when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbors and say, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost coin.’

There were dark days, even lost weeks, when we said:  "Where did the time go?  What have I been doing?"  But, Susan, you kept 'sweeping' and 'searching' and you didn't quit.  And now you have written about Christmas 2013, and you say to us your team family, 'Rejoice with me because I have found my lost coin.'!!!

Hope is kindled.

Reply

Susan Schiller December 28, 2013 at 10:02 pm

You always have the right words to share, dear Linda… it’s about hope 🙂

There’s the woman who lost and then found her coin… and the woman who have her last coin… all of the stories about finding what really matters. I feel like that is the real message of this story – you always know my heart, dear friend!

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Sally York December 27, 2013 at 10:59 pm

Your beautiful story keeps unfolding, you never dreamed of such life partner like Wayland to come in this season of your life to help mend the wounds and broken heart that you have lived and experienced.  I knew the Lord had the best yet to come for you.  Your kindness, optimism, and that real love that has always been in your heart was to be   discovered by someone very special.  I am so thankful for God's Grace and Mercy in all our lives.  I pray blessings over you and Wayland and for the best which is yet to come!

Love you much!

Reply

Susan Schiller December 28, 2013 at 10:04 pm

HI dear Sally,

We each have an unfolding story – and the real beauty of sharing our stories is the hope, faith, and love that bond us to each other and to Him!

I am thankful for you, dear friend!

Reply

Gertraud Walters December 27, 2013 at 1:22 pm

Let's dream big, okay? Let's make a quantum leap! Every time I read your writings something is stirred in me. There is so much more Love I need to discover.

Oh yes let's dream big, I am all for that and I know that in my moments of doubt I can go back to the source because He is my all in all.

Reply

Susan Schiller December 27, 2013 at 2:54 pm

I'm right behind you, Gertraud! In so many ways you have been one of my guiding lights this past year and a half!

May the Lord fill you to overflowing with creative ideas, opportunities, and joint ventures. I really don't know why that 3rd word popped in, but as it did, I will agree for God to give you the very Best that He has for you this year!

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