Sword of Truth: Write Your Destiny
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
In the series, "Letters to Readers"
When you can read the story of your past, you realize that you are part of a bigger story – God's story – and that He wants to inhabit that very place of hell – your living nightmare – with His glory. He wants to write His destiny into your story.
To those who are trapped in a living nightmare of domestic violence, one violent episode after another, spanning decades. It's to the point where due to ill health you are completely dependent on your current abuser, unless someone intervenes to rescue you.
Instead of support, you are shunned. Instead of finding refuge, you are mostly forgotten.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Dear heart, the value of telling your story is not so much to make you feel better, but to identify the messages, the patterns, and the main characters – particularly the villains – so that you can reframe the past and rewrite your future.
Writing your destiny is something that is best done in community, so you receive thoughtful feedback from friends who have listened to where you have been and can ask the question that will help you discover:
- What is God doing on your behalf?
- What are the promises God's given you?
- Who is God? Who are you, in light of who He is?
It's not merely your abuser that wants you destitute, disabled, and disempowered. Your abuser is someone controlled by one of the main villains in your life. This villain plays multiple roles, using characters like a parent, a spouse, or anyone.
You can't run or hide from this villain. He's in your life for a reason, to give you a gift, as you learn to extract the provision from the problem. He won't go until you collect your reward.
For example, if one of your villain's names is Infirmity, it would have you demobilized, even paralyzed, and shut in. God wants to use this very darkness – this bit of chaos – to create something beautiful. He wants to transform you from a widow to a bride!
The first step is to escape the "false reality" your abuser has created is to name the source of your abuse.
We NAME our ADVERSARY because in naming him, we gain power over him. I'm not talking about our spouse's name. I'm not saying we have to put our abuser's name in public view. It's not that kind of name.
We have to deal with the abuse and the abuser, yes… but to get our lives back, we have to go to the source and name it.
We can't just call it "The Enemy" or "The Devil". "The devil made him do it" is not strong enough.
We must nail it on the head. What is in YOUR HEART that the adversary wants to kill?
For me, it was my lifetime DREAM of being a WIFE and MOM. That's what I wanted, more than anything, to create a happy home! Intimacy, unconditional love, the pursuit of happiness in our family life was my greatest dream. I loved being a wife and mom, more than anything in the whole world! That was my DREAM! So I have named my enemy, THE WIDOW MAKER….
When you've been married to a sociopath there are multiple layers of deception, and at each level there is a separate grieving process.
You don't simply lose the love of your life. You also lose your identity. You lose your dream. You lose family and friends. You lose assets and income earning potential. You lose hope, because your mind is no longer functioning the way it's meant to work. You lose the ability to make wise decisions because your brain is neurologically impaired, due to deep mental damage and scars.
“Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.” ~ Mineko Iwasaki
So we take those villains, name them, and write a new role for them to play, using God's own decrees. This enemy who desires you to be shut in, unloved, unwanted, destitute, unable to work, unable to drive….
I hear Him saying: "Let the Lord REVEAL THE WOLF who comes dressed like a sheep. These are the ones who enter your life saying they only want to help – but they actually want to take. Be generous yet be DISCERNING. Generosity has different forms. Forgiving those who disappoint you and releasing them is wisdom. But forgiving and setting up the same situation again out of a desire to be generous is folly, for you are certain to be hurt again."
"Simply put – stop recreating opportunities for people in your past to repeat patterns in your future. Move on from those who ignore you and go instead toward those who adore you! No longer settle for less by working with whoever is on hand and instead, be patient, pray with someone you trust and ask for the RIGHT PERSON to show up!"
"God wants to deliver you from cycles and seasons that go in circles and release you to a new season with cycles of increase and HARVEST TO MAKE UP FOR PREVIOUS SEASONS of warfare and delay."
"This requires you to increase your "discerning" and your 'learning' from previous mistakes."
For thus says the Lord: I am the one who restores. I lift up one and put down another. I am the one who sets a limit to the sea saying to the proud waves 'thus far you shall come and no further.'
COME TO ME WITH THE BROKEN PIECES of pottery and delays of previous seasons and watch what I do with the situation as it is RELEASED TO MY HANDS. For I know the plans I have for you and I KNOW THE BLUEPRINT in the Spirit. I know how to restore, establish and strengthen you. I am the restorer of YEARS and the REDEEMER WHO BUYS BACK even TIME for I am Lord of the harvest and can cause one Word to release one catch of fish that can make up for an entire season of fruitless labor."
"I will bless you from a position of rest. Let your "learning" come from "leaning" upon the beloved. Come to Me and find REST for your souls. Learn of Me, and cease from worry. For I will make you sharper than you have ever been in discerning the hearts of men…and I will make you gracious also, for you will see the depths of the Lords grace toward you as you discern and rightly judge the matters of your own heart."
Then I will make you QUICK to understand WHAT TO DO to make your way prosperous. In fact, it will seem so simple and obvious when it is done that you will wonder why you did not see it and do so earlier.
It is an awesome thing that the Lord is about to do in your life!" (Bold mine)
With all my love,
Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.
Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.
Copyright © 2010 to 2017 Team Family Online, All rights reserved. For reprint permission or for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller.