The Other Side of the Story
By: Susan Deborah Schiller aka Tender Lily Photo Credit
"Would you believe this was all an accident?" asked Louise, doubtful the detective would be interested in hearing her side of the story.
I'm talking about the movie, "Thelma and Louise," of course. Louise commits murder, in rescuing Thelma in the act of being raped on the hood of a car in a deserted parking lot. A half-hour later into the movie, Thelma – the girl who's never touched guns or had any experience with weapons – is holding up a convenience store with a gun!
What could possibly provoke two decent, hard-working women to commit armed robbery, murder, and various other felonies and misdemeanors while on a roadtrip that was intended to be nothing more than a girl's weekend out, a well-deserved vacation?
Louise is a mature, hard-working waitress and Thelma is an attentive, loving housewife. They are strong, good women with excellent reputations and clean records.
No one wanted to believe it could have been an accident. Not a single police officer (all male, that I could see) wanted to consider the "other side of the story", except for one detective. These gentlemen, the very people who should have protected them, could not be trusted to help. If they had been awakened to the real drama, the true story, of what was happening behind the outward drama, they may have been able to prevent the drastic actions Thelma and Louise felt they were forced to take.
They didn't want to believe the women might have been victims, instead of perps. Their minds were made up, before examing the facts. Our culture still commonly blames the victims while protecting the perps. This is happening every single day, even in our churches today. Especially in our churches.
In the end, it was the police – dozens of them – who were prepared to kill both women in cold blood. Only the lone detective, who had researched the facts in the case, had the guts to cry out, "Stop! You haven't heard their story!" I won't spoil the ending, if you haven't watched the movie, but let's just say it was "freedom or bust" … and this movie radically exposes the cultural biases of rape and abuse today.
Every little voice matters. Your story matters.
When you silence a victim, a part of their soul shatters and they live from that point on as an isolated fragment. From the core of her being, the brokenness manifests in low self-esteem, insecurity, doubts, and often an inability to trust and to make good relational decisions.
A victim of abuse must endure impossible limitations as she limps through life. She often buries her true feelings, unprocessed, in an effort to keep going and to move on. Her very identity was shattered. In the wake of this tragedy, a victim mentality is programmed into her mind.
It's the perfect setup for repeated abuse.
Can these cycles of abuse make a "good girl" go crazy and suddenly do strange things?
What makes two kind-hearted, sensible women go wrong?
Why is there such a powerful movement today to get their stories out to the public?
I belive this with all my heart: Your story is the tapestry of your soul. Our collective stories write the future of planet Earth.
Thelma and Louise represent all the women whose stories go untold… who live lives of quiet desperation. With no one to hear their voices, not only do they lose a part of their souls, but as a collective body of Christ we lose precious pieces of ourselves. I believe that's why God is urging so many of us to write our stories.
We are all interconnected. Each of us, like all of the millions of cells in our physical bodies, plays a key role in the health of our planet.
I am choosing to write my own life story and the stories of women like Thelma and Louise, because together, we can stop this from happening again, as Eve Ensler states.
We are focusing on bringing the stories of these women to the world. These stories must be told if we are going to stop this from happening again. — Eve Ensler
We must tell our stories… not just to show the stripping of our souls, not to focus on the pain… but we must tell our stories so we can glean the treasure of those precious life lessons… specifically, so we can rescue those lost fragments and recover our souls. Our past is for a purpose… remembering our history is to invest in our future.
How we tell our story determines the course of our future.
Some of of us are called to tell our stories publicly because God wants to showcase His Glory in us so that others will be drawn to Him. He wants victims of abuse to know there is no place too deep or too dark where His Light and Truth cannot penetrate and ELEVATE us to our destiny. Yes, the very trials of life are stepping stones to our destiny.
We are called to "save souls". Many of us are born again Christians but we perish for lack of knowledge. Our souls have been surrendered to the narcissists and sociopaths, to the controllers and abusers of our culture, who have drained out our life force. It's time to get our lives back! Not just survival, but thriving, as we build a new world for ourselves.
It begins with collecting and owning all the pieces of our story, seeing our past with God's perspective, and investing that life experience into our future.
It's the other side of the story, you see. Your story matters!
I'm currently preparing to open the doors to launch, "Piece-by-Peace: A Life Story Mosaic of Femine Empowerment". Helping women to tell their stories, one little piece at a time, in such a way as to bring God's perspective in their past, and to invest that valuable life experience into crafting a brighter future with Hope, Faith, and Love. It takes a Tribe of women to do this, my friend… it's takes a team. It takes a community.
In the meantime, if you would like the nitty-gritty details, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, beginning to end, I'll send you a free gift – my upcoming book, "On the Way Home". It's an interactive memoir in which you will be guided to write your own life story (privately or in our community) as I share my own story of escaping from abuse and entering into a life of liberty, love, and hope.
With all my love,
Susan
Susan Deborah Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate her way out of hell to a rich and satisfying life. In her lifetime, Susan has served in duties ranging from home school mom – to pastor – to full-time deliverance minister – and to Midwest regional prayer coordinator for a large international ministry. These days you can usually find Susan soaking in her favorite hot springs pool, reading a book (or several), blogging, baking bread, or hanging out with her family and friends. You can get a free copy of Susan's upcoming book, "On the Way Home" by registering here.
Copyright 2012, Susan Schiller, http://TeamFamilyOnline.com. Permission is granted to copy, forward, or distribute this article for non-commercial use only, as long as this copyright byline and bio, in totality, is maintained in all duplications, copies, and link references. For reprint permission for any commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
There is always a different thought every time I read about telling our stories. ~I quite agree that these stories need to be written, they need to be told.
This is so true: We are called to "save souls". Many of us are born again Christians but we perish for lack of knowledge. Our souls have been surrendered to the narcissists and sociopaths, to the controllers and abusers of our culture, who have drained out our life force. It's time to get our lives back! Not just survival, but thriving, as we build a new world for ourselves.
I pray that the victims find their voice and become brave enough to share their stories.
Thanks once again, Susan.
"Our past is for a purpose… remembering our history is to invest in our future." Susan, I love that quote. It is a reminder that no matter what our past, God can be glorified by how we invest it into our future. Thank you for your article.
Thank you, Pat… I’ve learned much from your life experiences!
Helpful explanation on victims, mindset, & reactions. Yes the stories must be told & remembered so we can stop evil & create a new future.
How we tell our story determines the course of our future.
-Interesting!
Thanks for stopping by and taking time to comment, Jenny. There are many women in prison today who could not trust police intervention and ended up forced into situations of defense that ended in loss of life. Some of those women could have been psychopaths, themselves, and deserve to pay the consequences of their actions, but many of them were simply good women who were backed into a corner and knew they had no one to trust who would defend them. Sadly, the police offer little protection for such victims.