“The One” – Secret Heroes, Part 3

“The One”

Secret Heroes, Part 3

Secret Heroes 1

Secret Heroes 2

By: White Dove

It was a stuffy late spring day in sixth-grade language arts class and I was incredibly bored. I let my mind freely wander during the redundant lessons. Our chairs faced forward, prohibiting us from glancing out the windows. The vast world of skies, birds and trees in full glory shimmered and glowed behind us, beckoning children or the childlike to wander, explore and conquer.

Tuning out the droning lecture, I exited the stuffy classroom and darted through the doorway of my imagination to the uncharted territory of my very curious mind.

Gradually the classroom faded out and a large dark pit full of screaming people opened up in front of me. I guess that’s the dark side me… I know I’m weird.

While this movie played in 3D on my mental theater screen. I remember talking to God, asking Him why people suffered. I had learned from personal experience that God allows you to ask any questions you like, and no question is too hard.

He doesn’t always answer right away. Sometimes He shows you through life experiences, or if you’re bored in school, He might show you through a dream or vision!

I told Him I thought it was pretty unfair to condemn people to a pit of eternal torture and pain, after spending a lifetime of suffering. He brought me to a place where I could see better, and it was a lot worse than my 12-year old mind could imagine. So I asked Him right there and then, “Father, I volunteer my life to go into the dark places of this world, even to hell’s gate. But there are so many – billions! How can I even begin?”

Every single prayer alters our life’s course, if only by a mere fraction of a degree, and it may take years to see the results, but there is always a shift in our circumstances. Something is going to happen!

The scene changed. Suddenly I was on the deck of a ship, rolling and tossing with the stormy seas. Surrounded by drowning people in every direction, I became overwhelmed. How could they all be rescued?

Suddenly the Captain of the ship was beside me and he began to teach me, saying, “Do you feel overwhelmed, that no matter how hard you work it will never be enough to complete this mission? Now look and see!”

And that’s when I first learned the principle of “The One.”

The scene shifted. From the Captain’s perspective I could see a giant grid covering the sea, and there were many other ships with people like me on the decks reaching out their hands into the choppy waters, rescuing the victims of life’s disasters. 

It’s was all about “the one”, the Captain taught me, as He pointed to a figure in the water directly in front of me. I stretched out my arm and grabbed a slippery hand, pulling up an elderly woman into the safety of our ship.

As soon as she was well and strong enough, she could become a rescuer, too! I was starting to get the picture, and it made me excited to look for “the one” every day.

Could it be so simple?

Jesus once taught by sharing a story of a lost sheep. This shepherd had a large flock and 99 of them were safe and sound. One had wandered away and would likely be eaten by wolves before morning. So the shepherd left the 99 sheep and went searching for “the one” lost sheep. Why did it get separated from the flock? Did it fall into a crevice? Was it injured? Or did it wander off and get lost?

God’s heart is clearly concerned for “the one.”

One day, in that foggy state between dreaming and waking I heard that quiet inner voice say, “Some people think I don’t intervene and rescue them, when in reality I set in motion a plan to save every family and individual on earth. It’s called “The Avengers.”

I wrote about The Real Avengers recently, and since then I have met another one. Yesterday, in fact. She’s a woman my own age and we shared sixth grade together! We were both a little different. We were the quiet girls. Girls who were passionate about prayer and having an intimate relationship with God and who also loved the great outdoors!

We both ended up marrying abusive men, who terrorized us over more than a decade. Post-traumatic stress leaves scars that usually never go away completely, although they can fade and become less stressful. While most of the world does not understand PTSD, including those in the very ministries that are set up to help the wounded, when victims meet we often intuitively recognize each other by the familiar inner scars and war-torn faces.

In A Lakota Rescue: Secret Heroes, Part 2, I wrote about the Lakota family who adopted me, this past year. Taking me onto their ranch, they told me they specialized in treating people with PTSD. They were former Navy Seals and one of them had been on the team who rescued the hostages in Iran many years ago.

From Arizona to Florida to South Dakota to Wyoming these Indians all began praying about me, and many were saying, “She’s ‘the one’.”

So many people have been reading my stories and have asked me to share what it means to be “the one.” It would take a whole book just to share all that happened during my stay with the Lakota, so for now, I felt I should begin with a short chapter on what “the one” means to me, in my own heart. I know my personal context is not what the Indians were thinking, but for now, this is how I’m taking it.

Most Christians do not have a clue how to relate to a person with post-traumatic stress. Just yesterday a friend lamented the suicidal death of a 35-year old special forces man who had returned home, but no longer “fit in” or could handle civilian life. Another friend of mine is in jail right now, not because he’s a bad guy, but because he’s “special forces” and couldn’t handled the transition to civilian life.

For most of my adult life I’ve been involved in pastoral ministry of many different kinds. I was the person other pastors gave the “hard case” to… the people no one else wanted to deal with, those were the ones given to me. People who had been tortured beyond human imagination.

What they told me was that my quiet, peaceful nature and voice helped them to calm down, internally. I was a good listener, and that’s what they needed most… someone to listen, someone who did not tell them what to do, but simply listened and prayed.

So, one-by-one, I listened and prayed.

And today I find myself on the receiving end of this special love. What you give truly does come back to you!

Because you’ve been asking me for more of my story, I’m writing today. I know there are gaps because posts should only be about 800 words and I’ve already greatly exceeded my limit…

So that’s why I’m writing a book especially for survivors of traumatic experiences. I call it “Love from Papa,” because it was through prayers, dreams, and visions that I recorded in journals ever since I was very young, that my Father has helped me overcome my own post-traumatic stress and also to help others.

We are wounded healers. We are known by our scars. Don’t be embarrassed of your scars. Let them be a signal to others who are so wounded they can’t call out for help. Tell your story. For in telling your story, you are also rewriting the script of your life.

You learn that each memory has a page and it’s not about closing the book, but about turning the page… and finding sense and meaning from what’s already been written. And then using that to determine the ending you want for your book.

It’s hard to find people like us, you know.

We love to hide. We want peace and quiet. We are afraid of loud noises and noisy places, even church. Church is hard… hardly anyone understands us there. If we do let people know of our dreadful past, of the horrible abuses that happened to us, of being tortured and intimidated into silence… they feel sorry for us. They volunteer counseling for us. They may even send us to special inner healing and deliverance sessions. But when you ask those counselors, do you understand or have experience with _____? In most cases, they will say no. If they do say yes, they will refer you to someone else who is supposedly an expert.

But let me tell you from years of experience on both sides… Real help is rare out there. And it’s expensive.

What helps the most is looking into the face of a fellow survivor and seeing in their eyes the same scars. And then you share stories. And you know there is someone on earth who understands you!

We are good survivors. We can put on our masks and be very accomplished in our careers. But the pain is so near the surface. We must always be so very careful to not let anyone touch that place. But it’s that very place that must be touched if we are to be healed.

Only we can help each other. We are “the one” to rescue and to avenge “the one” in front of us each day.

One day I was at a healing service and I was asked to come up front to minister to “the one” for me that day. I looked into her eyes, the eyes of a beautiful stranger. I said to her, “I don’t know you, but I feel we share the same story.” A few months later she was in my living room sharing her story and listening to mine. Indeed, we shared the exact same story.

Yesterday, a woman I grew up with, looked into my eyes and told me the same thing. She told me we’re going to stick together. That she will be strong for me and carry me… and that I will be strong and carry her. Together, we will stand.

One-by-one.

So I will continue the Lakota rescue story here, if you want to join me!

White Dove knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and so much more. In a series of letters spanning more than two decades, God gave White Dove “Love from Papa,’ through her personal daily journals to help her in exiting organized religion where she had served in duties ranging from pastor, inner healing and deliverance minister, and Midwest regional coordinator for a large international ministry. In the past decade Susan has been applying the truths she learned and is now publishing her journals for the first time.

If you’ve ever felt you lost your soul in the midst of a “successful” Christian lifestyle, “Love from Papa” is for you! It’s a practical guide via stories, poems, dreams and visions all in the context of her real life story and the Bible. You can register to receive the newsletter, “Love from Papa” by entering your name and email below.

Copyright 2012  http://Loveyourstory.org. Permission is granted to copy, forward, or distribute this article for non-commercial use only, as long as this copyright byline and bio, in totality, is maintained in all duplications, copies, and link references.  For reprint permission for any commercial use, in any form of media, please contact White Dove.

Tagged as: "Love from Papa" Series, Deborah White Dove, Dreams that Shape A Legacy, PTSD - post-traumatic stress disorder, Unbuckle Your Christianity