The Most Powerful Weapon to Defeat a Smear Campaign
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
The best part of life is creating memories with our friends and family. We laugh at old jokes and tease each other for past escapades. Who doesn't like to reminisce about the good ole days? It's like a fountain of neverending life, and it just gets more precious as each year passes.
Living with a sociopath, your forfeit most of those simple pleasures of life – the very stuff of life that makes life worth living. A smear campaign is the ultimate betrayal. Your abuser twists events and with malevolent stabs in the back, presents to anyone who will listen a new picture of your life. And it ain't pretty. Half truths and full deception cause you to be shunned and exiled.
They ally your very own friends, spreading malicious gossip and slander against you. The enemy wants you to feel isolated and alone, weak and vulnerable, so that he can finish you off.
You die, piece by piece, each time your voice is silenced… each time you are shunned… each time you are blamed and shamed.
This has happened to me more than once, and I learned the hard way how NOT to respond, but I had to ask God for the best way TO respond. As I was praying one day, I heard Papa God whisper to me,
A weapon of defense – sure safety – is to pray for those who befriend you and then turn around and persecute you. A weapon of offense is to praise Me in the midst of your tears of anguish.
We choose the way of Love.
The most powerful weapon of all is praising God, even as the tears of anguish are streaming down our face. God, himself, is aroused to fight on our behalf. You are never alone.
In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free. The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies…" – Psalm 118:5-7
It can be tempting to defend yourself with the Truth, especially in the case of a smear campaign, but a sociopath is not fazed by your words. They may actually believe their own lies, as hard as that is to believe.
The reality is that most people will believe the sociopath's clever lies, because he or she is much more practiced in manipulating and controlling people than you are.
So what do you do?
Never fight a sociopath on their own turf. Get immediately to higher ground – by choosing Love. They, because they are choosing to operate at a subhuman level are stuck with ground-level warfare. But you exist in a higher nature and their words cannot harm you, unless you descend to their level. You are more powerful than you realize!
There is a time and place to speak the Truth, where it will blow the smear campaign to bits and backfire on your attacker. But it's not natural. It won't feel right, at first. First, you have to get up onto the high ground. Here's how…
Praising God, using His Word, lifts you high above their flame-throwing words. For real. When you declare God's truth His Spirit empowers your words with the fire of God and whoever dares to get close to you will be burned. Love is a consuming fire.
Here's the secret: Be prepared ahead of time with a written (or memorized) manifesto. Your emotions will likely be too chaotic in the moment of betrayal and deception, so write down a declaration, a manifesto, that will reverse the curses and turn them into blessings. Keep that paper close at hand, at all times. Read it out loud as many times a day as you need to keep the terror at bay.
I can tell you from my own personal experience that using a manifesto, a declaration of God's intentions for you, is the most powerful form of warfare.
Many survivors of sociopathic abuse will spend years, even decades, trying to break free from the grip of an abuser. A narcissist or a sociopath is relentless. They will not stop until your whole life is destroyed. That's just how it works – every time.
The reality is, that most church leaders and most civil servants of the justice system do not know or have the power to stop sociopathic abuse. Most of the time, the victims are blamed. It's up to us, the victims to stand up for each other, to speak out, and to reverse the situations we have been locked into.
It's time to get your life back! I'll be back next time with a simple written manifesto that has worked in my own life. It's not the only one I've used, but it's a sample. It works when nothing else does. Every time.
With all my love,
Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.
Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.
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