Soul Care for Caregivers
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
In the mini-memoir series
A short story from my own memoir….
This evening I want to capture a mental photo of the red cliffs in Thermopolis, Wyoming. Savoring this place of newfound refuge and freedom means I can return to it anytime, in my memories.
The setting sun has cast a burnished glow to the towering mountain giants overlooking the Big Horn River. Velvety green hills sparkle in the fading sunlight… their sagebrush faces, like precious jade.
Birds flutter from tree to tree, their songs filling the air, bringing heaven to earth. A sole bald eagle glides gracefully from one end of the river to the other, it's piercing eyes no doubt will soon spot the splash of a trout.
It's early April in the canyon and the naked trees rustle with last year's brown leaves clinging bravely to bare branches. Next to the Big Horn River is the Fountain of Youth RV Park, home to the world's largest outdoor hot mineral pools. 1.4 million gallons of hot mineral water pour into a series of three large pools, cooling off as the water passes from one pool to the next.
Just after sunset the gushing fountain surges with a ruddy glow, it's shooting plumes pulsate like fireworks while the last of the day's puffy clouds part to reveal a midnight blue sky already sparkling with starry diamonds.
On the weekends country music wafts through the night as children swim and play ball while parents float side-by-side in the misty water, heads close together, swaying slightly with the waves.
The water is thick with mineral content and the rich sodium makes my body pleasantly buoyant, almost as if there is zero gravity in the world. As my own weight diminishes, so the cares of the world melt off my soul and I feel lighter inside and out. My water bed is both pillow and blanket as swirls of mist curl around my face, enveloping me in a cloudy embrace. The air is cool and crisp but I'm as snug and warm as a little girl tucked into a feather bed.
I feel my Father tucking me into His embrace, and He reminds me that He is present all the time, everywhere.
Nature is a healer. Mother knows just what we need. Beauty heals our souls, and our souls can then heal our bodies – better than any drug, I believe.
Sixty percent of our North American population relies on some type of drug to control their dis-ease. Anxiety is at an all-time high, and stress forms the roots of most infirmity. No doctor has prescribed anything for me and I don't take any medications… yet I almost died from an illness that made its entrance soon after my husband's body was healed.
I wonder, how often do caregivers collapse and nearly die after caring for a chronically ill person?
As I soak and soak and soak today I can feel my body shedding the weight of stress and releasing toxic memories, words, and experiences. Extra baggage that can actually cause us to become over-weight as our bodies deal with the stress hormone, cortisol, storing it in our belly fat and other fat storage areas. Gross, huh?
As I watch a bald eagle fly overhead I am reminded of my home in Northwestern Montana where seven bald eagles lived down the road from our house. A river rushed noisily in our front yard as beavers expertly constructed dams. Mountain lions stalked these same beavers for their next dinner.
Muskrats and otters filled the water with joyful leaps and dives. A bull frog chorus became the back up musicians for a butterfly choreography performed by thousands of fluttering blue and lavender beauties. That river, too, was my safe haven, my place of peace and rest.
I miss home… my heart was only just beginning to mend in that haven of beauty and rest. I'm grateful God's given me another river. A bit of restoration.
Not many people understand the peculiar stress of being the sole caregiver of a severely injured husband. Days of anxiety and sleepless nights turned into years of never knowing if the pain was going to win and he would take his own life. Always watching, always on call. On drugs normally reserved for terminal cancer patients, something changed in our relationship…
Insurance ran out but it wouldn't have paid for a caregiver's care, anyway… who cares for the caregiver?
There's a season for everything. Winter is passing and a chubby robin hopping among the dandelions is a welcome harbinger of Spring. And so, in my own soul, Spring is here. I just needed a place to soak, a place to just "be" … a place that would remind me of home.
Caregivers need care too. When a family endures a severe illness the whole family suffers, but the one who cares 24/7 and is the closest often suffers stress no one else sees or hears.
Maybe one day doctors will treat the caregiver as diligently as the injured patient, but in the meantime Creation is teaching me the hidden value of soaking in beauty and truth every day.
A geothermal pool, burnished reddish-orange cliffs, a soaring bald eagle, a chubby robin, and dandelions. What strong natural healing powers are my "medicine".
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Have you tested the power of Creation in healing your own soul? I'd love to hear your story!
Some more "mini-memoir" chapters:
"Digging For Treasure in the Ruins of Accidents, Abuse, and Addictions"
"When It Hurts So Bad You Want to Die"
"5-Year Old Surfs the Airwaves"
When writing your life story, you can jump around. You don't need to be concerned about chronological order, unless you want to. Everything can always be changed. The important thing is simple to jump in at any point and get started.
Pick a photo or two…. try to remember what made you snap that photo. What were you feeling at the time? Why is that place, that person, that event special to you?
Don't try to be perfect. Fumbling for words is natural. If you're better talking than writing, have someone use a video camera or an audio recorder.
Try to compose two stories with two photos twice a week, if you can. No pressure… just do what you can. You're well on your way!
With all my love,
Sue
Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate her way out of hell to a rich and satisfying life. In her lifetime, Susan has served in duties ranging from home school mom – to pastor – to full-time deliverance minister – and to Midwest regional prayer coordinator for a large international ministry. These days you can usually find Susan soaking in her favorite hot springs pool, reading a book (or several), blogging, baking bread, or hanging out with her family and friends. You can pre-order a free copy of Susan's upcoming book, "On the Way Home" by registering here.
Copyright 2014, Susan Schiller, http://TeamFamilyOnline.com. For reprint permission for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Having been a caretaker for years I can relate to the need for soaking in peace and grace. Thanks so much for your openess and love.
We must always remember the need to care for ourselves, even in the midst of crises and chaos, while helping others! Thanks for sharing, Patricia!
Susan, always so inspiring. I know ONE thing, because I keep reading your encouragement to write about my own life. So awesome!! My mom used to go and take a big box with picture res and go through them one after the other and tell us story after story and we would sit and listen to her; very precious moments. Thanks Susan
Those are precious moments, Olga… do you have the photos and still remember the stories? My mom didn’t at first see the need for writing her story, but as she told me this evening, she’s enjoying answering the questions and now she really wishes her mother and grandmother had done this for her. It’s something that really grows on you once you begin remembering 🙂
How about you write the life stories while taking the authors to your retreat locations. Every time you write about this, I want to join you!
So, if you ever need an editor or technical writer…let me know!
hugs!
Lol, Linda! You would definitely be able to relax here 🙂 And editing… of course, always needed! but first, your story 😉
Your work prompted me to dig out the old family albums! Love watching the grandkids sort through them asking questions and sometimes putting their own story to them…I realized I was witnessing through the pictures a connection between generations taking place before my very eyes! 🙂
Wow, Denny, that is actually the main intention of creating our life story books… to build that bridge to the next generation – to touch tomorrow! How fun listening to the stories they are hearing and also creating! Thanks so much for sharing – it sounds like so much fun over at your house!