Reinvention through Resurrection
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
From my social media newsfeed about a year ago, a friend wrote …
"So I'm sitting here with a broken heart wondering what on earth could bring a sister in Christ to a point that she would take her own life??? I don't understand??? It troubles me that she was driven to such a place of hopelessness that she could see no other way out. My heart is broken… She was gentle and sweet and loved the Lord. She had a heart for people and animals. She will be dearly missed." — Anonymous. (Bold mine)
Having listened to the stories of nearly a hundred survivors of narcissistic and sociopathic abuse, I know from my own experience and theirs, that long-term psychological abuse, even to the level of torture tactics, call kill a person long before their body is dead. In many cases, illness follows, and sometimes physical death. Sometimes "suicide".
Another survivor, yesterday, said this to me: "My s'path (shortcut for sociopath) kept yelling at me, 'When are you going to just die!'"
Many of these women fit the character profile described of the dead woman at the beginning of this post: gentle, quiet, loves the Lord, would never do anything to hurt anyone…
Reading through the comments under the status, of the dozens of people offering sympathy and prayers, not a single person had a clue that their friend or associate could be near the brink of death. She was attending a small Bible study group as well as an active member of her church. She seemed fine.
Here's what I do know. There are more women in our churches who are suffering behind closed doors than you may realize. Their deep mental and emotional bruises and scars are invisible to the naked eye. They smile, laugh, and are some of the most active volunteers. They have amazing empathy and compassion for those who are suffering.
Why doesn't she tell someone? Why doesn't she get help? Leave?
In most cases, her abuser is a well-loved, very charismatic, and charming "believer in the Lord". He may be a pastor, an elder or a deacon, a doctor, or in other ways a well-respected and admired member of her society. The effects of the escalated abuse are devastating. In many cases, she is intimidated into silence in the guise of "submission".
In many cases, these victims are left with no resources. The abuser often takes full control of the finances, their identity, and in the cruelest twist of all, turns the victim's family and friends against her. The abuser's lies are meant to make him look like the victim. She is trapped in a web of deceit.
The victim, like the prey of a spider, is held captive in the web of relationships. When her family and friends side with the abuser, it produces a fog of confusion.
Why do I write about this great sadness? This great injustice? This great oversight of the Courts of Justice? I write because every voice matters. My story matters.
If I do not raise my voice and work for justice. If I don't physically, financially, and spiritually help a victim of spiritual terrorism, I will find myself on the Other Side – Evil's Silent Accomplice!
A sociopath is a spiritual terrorist. He is relentless and will not quit. His objective is to subjugate his victim, and if she refuses to lay down and die from the inside out, he will pursue her until she is physically dead. He will use every mean at his disposal to put her down, to silence her, to turn even her friends and family against her.
My friend, don't let this be you. If you are a victim, RISE UP! If you see or hear of a victim, SPEAK UP! Provide a home. Give her money. Feed her. She is starving for love, I tell you. You don't have to have all the answers. Just be a safe place for her to land. In doing so you are fulfilling God's only command: To love Him and to love others, especially the widows and orphans. To love in word and in DEED!
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With all my love,
Sue
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