My Magical Life: The Day I Broke Up With Normal
By: White Dove
I tried very hard to conform to this world, but I broke up with normal. Like a porcelain statue, the world of illusions shattered around me, some of the shards piercing my soul. Pain inside and pain outside, no nonsense sentinels alerting me to the toxic waters I was swimming in, endangering my soul.
If it weren’t for the riptide that pulled me under, I would have conformed. I might have fit in. But I would have lost my soul and missed out on the magical life I was designed to live… a life of abundance and joy.
I don’t believe in a “sinner’s prayer” anymore, unless it’s something authentic and not part of a 5-step program to salvation that ultimately results in spiritual conformity to mediocre living.
I placed my life on the altar and allowed God to kill me, that part of ‘me’ that was struggling to fit in with the world, even while functioning as a professional leader inside the church walls. If I hadn’t been pushed to the edge, I doubt I would have taken the leap, but this New Testament verse really challenged me:
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Roman 12:1-2 ~ The Message ~ bold mine)
I believe schools programmed us to “succeed” through blind obedience and churches programmed us to let others think for us.
Little did I realize I had made idols of teachers and preachers, twisting my gentleness into compliance and my meekness into subjugation. Yet I knew something was wrong, inside of me as well as around me.
I dislike our violent culture. It’s noise grinds into my joints and tendons and jars my spirit. I don’t like competition and greed. Violence, arrogance, and lies make me want to flee. I don’t understand these things. And yet I’ve discovered bits and pieces of these hateful things reside in me, more than I want to know.
I mourn for the Great Loss of mankind. Our collective soul. I hunger and thirst for righteousness and justice to fill our land. I believe whole cities will be set free. I’ve seen it in my dreams and it awakens my faith to believe for the full manifestation of freedom in our land.
Nothing could stop the Kingdom from advancing, if only a small minority in the Bible Belt would unbuckle their “Christianity” and instead buckle on the Belt of Truth. That’s one of my dreams.
Oh, I’m so glad God brought my enemies into my life to kill me. Yes, I was literally terrorized, taken for nightly interrogations, slandered, and accused of all the heinous crimes my enemies were, themselves, guilty of.
My enemies mirrored to me the darkness in my own soul. My own weaknesses were laid bare. How can I not leap for joy and rejoice for the persecution and trials!
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds… – James 1:2
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. – Romans 5:3
From Isaiah 40 –
Those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles..
What is a magical life? The more people who actively allow the illusions to shatter, who reconcile with their own part in the dark chaos of this world … who wake up, embracing the reality that we have been transformed by Christ’s love and that the dark side actually has NO power of its own… only as much as we ALLOW by our own thoughts and belief systems…. the BETTER off our lives will be. That better life is abundant life, and that’s what I call a magical life – a life without limits.
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With all my love,
White Dove
White Dove knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Her upcoming, interactive memoir, “On the Way Home,” tells the story of how she came to be known as “the most abused woman” her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.
Today White Dove helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.
Copyright © 2010 to 2016 LoveyourStory.org, All rights reserved. For reprint permission or for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact White Dove.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
This post resonates with my walk….God is so good and faithful that he can take a weak, scared, pitiful woman and show her such love and constancy through Christ that we embrace the trials that keep us close to him!
I would try to address issues with our church and people just wouldn't believe me….until something horrible happens and it rips the rose colored glasses off and awaken a them to reality. "We saw you as strong" that's why we didn't intervene. But now I am thankful, because when it came down to it, it was just Jesus and me…and in my weakness, He has been strong.
Oh Sara,
I can very much relate to your story. Tears well up in my throat and eyes as I read what you’ve suffered… and yet I hear the gratitude for discovering a deeper well of life giving waters, in Christ, as a result.
I’m blessed to hear your voice here – and I hope to hear more of what God is doing in your life! Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thanks once agian for sharing your heart wiht us. Each time I read your articles i am ministered to in various ways. We are only sojourners here, building blocks on the road to HOME. A place of calm and peace.
The negatives in our lives are the building blocks towards the positive areas of youor lives.
More and more I want to live on this place called “home” – truly a place of “calm and peace” as you’ve noted, Yetunde! We can build from failure, that’s for sure…. everything is building materials to build a more positive future! Thanks, Yetunde – you are a kindred spirit!
Some of my life lessons in childhood and before early adulthood ripped the mask off the "nice world." I found solace in creating my own world that danced with the one everyone else was in. I wrote a lot of rules for myself, of what would keep me happy, fulfilled and relatively safe. Only now, at full maturity, do I understand how different my life has been from so many others. I actually cherish those early devastating episodes. So, while my reality was not within a church or marriage structure, Sue, many of your words and concepts resonate with me. My Sister Sue.
It takes “full maturity” I believe, to say what you’ve just said, Sharon: “I actually cherish those early devastating episodes”. One day I hope to meet you in person, Sharon… you are a sister, for certain – THANKS!!!
Some messages never lose there luster, their heft, their piercing pointy truth. That can be said for this post. We are not called to live the way the world lives. We are called to be fully God's and live our lives on the earth in ways that bring Him glory and honor. Truly how we live will look counter-cultural especially in the year 2013 when there's so much disconnect, change, and upheaval. We can be beacons of Light. Thank you for this post reminding us of Whose we are and how we are called to live!
Poignant truth, Marvia… to live counter-culturally can be a confusing transition due to so much disconnection, offenses, and the strong towers we build around ourselves, our churches, and our socities. It can take years to adapt to a Kingdom of God lifestyle! I’d love to hear more of your experience… I know you’ve had years of experience! 🙂
You have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself. I can't even begin to start quoting all of the lines I love from this post. Absolutely wonderful as always.
Thank you, Ron… your encouragement means a lot to me!
I remember a song I sang as a child as I read through your post…"this world is not my home, I'm just passing through." We are not to stay too comfortable in this earthly home.
Hi Claudia, what an awesome song – thanks for sharing – it means a lot to me!
What an amazing piece of truth…this is my favorite…"Nothing could stop the Kingdom from advancing, if only a small minority in the Bible Belt would unbuckle their "Christianity" and instead wear the Belt of Truth, walking in the full armor of God. That's what people from "home" look like." That is my desire for myself as I am still a work in progress as we all are. What a beauitful beautiful message! Thank you for sharing!
Hi Penny… thank you for saying this – it helps me a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve opened my mouth too big. I’m not used to speaking up quite yet!
I’m so much a work-in-progress, too… I’m glad we can give each other grace!
"Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking." Wow, that is supernatural & full of POWER!
Your writing is so honest & vulnerable. Beautiful.
I wonder what I could leave behind that is normal, comfortable?
We are part of this world, but not in it. I also have moments that I really long for the GLORY of God here and in heaven, where things are complete and never to be broken again. It will be awesome and it is a good thing to keep dreaming about it!
Dear Olga, I wonder if we all dream and meditate on the same thing, how quickly it will come to pass. Our hearts surely long for the Lord’s coming, who will set everything straight! Thanks so much for visiting today… you have an awesome spirit and heart 🙂
I often read through your posts several times Susan because there is always something new I notice each time. Your strength to survive and live your life so fully. Love your quote 'I know I was born for this, to soar on wings like an eagle.' Beautiful!
Dear Carolyn, thank you for such kind and thoughtful words. I treasure your friendship, as a kindred spirit. I feel like we are flying together, each one encouraging the other to soar higher and farther… far above those earthly challenges!
Dear Angela… your words always draw tears from my heart – of joy. You are a kindred spirit and I love what is pouring out of YOU in this season. I treasure your words, which flow from a deep well of wisdom and compassion in your heart. Thank you for coming … blessings!
I love Christians, and I am one…
But much of what we experience as Christians is "cultural" and not biblical. I have lived in several areas of our country, from urban cities to rural, mountainous villages. I lived where there are churches on every street corner and I've lived in places where churches are few and far between.
There is darkness in all areas, but the greatest darkness is that which is clothed in Light. It hides behind a cloak of goodness and it professes a slightly twisted version of truth.
We must put on the whole armor of Christ and run to the pure, radiant Light of God's living Word. The world's system is a maze of mirrors, and the world is in most of our churches…
To clarify, when I say we must "unbuckle our Christianity" I don't mean we become pagans or run to other religions. That would be jumping from the frying pan into the fire… for me, it means returning to a simple Gospel and following Jesus' lead in literal, practical ways… as led by Holy Spirit, personally, in our lives.
We simply give our whole lives over to our Creator and worship in a Romans 1-2 way, offering ourselves in His altar… not our DOING selves, but our BEING selves. We give up our lives so that He can live through us. It shows up in our service toward others, and in our attitudes. His priorities become our priorities and as we do this, Heaven invades earth.
Transformation.
I LOVE that picture at the beginning of the post.
And this: "We are each part of each other, all of us. I mourn for those who have not yet awakened to this magical life."
I love what's coming out of you in this season of roots going deeper, branches widening, heart lightening. You are a brave soul. I can see that you are embracing the Brave and tatooing it on your heart. I like it. A lot.
That means so very much, coming for you, Angela… you and I have walked some parallel paths and I'm so very excited to see what is coming forth out of your life, as well. Thanks so very much for coming by to read and for your gracious, encouraging words!
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