Moonlight Escape, Part 9

 

Moonlight Escape, Part 9 ~  WeWriWa Snippet August 18

By: Susan Schiller Photo Credit   Previously: Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8

Welcome and thanks so much for visiting today – your helpful comments have inspired me to keep writing and are helping me to improve – THANKS!

Synopsis: This is a true story that I'm slowly rewriting into fiction. Laura, whose name means "Victorious One," is the main character in Sara's dreams. Sara's dream life closely parallels and links to her conscious life, supplying her with uncanny wisdom that fuels her escape to freedom. For the first time, we meet Sara, the woman who has been dreaming of the escape. Sara is traveling, having just pulled over to the side of the road due to a storm, pondering how long they will allow her to live. She has discovered the truth behind her church's amazing signs and wonders and now the church leaders have threatened her life.

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This week's snippet…

"My specialty is knives." Sara recalled the man's words as he looked her directly in the eye, searching for the faintest hint of weakness. A slight twitch maybe, or perhaps a sweaty palm. She knew the game well. It always came down to this point, a battle of wills. Each time he devised a little more sinister description of how he would use the knives, beginning with her feet and working upward.

She hadn't failed the test yet and he always thanked her, assuring her the prayers were making a difference, and that his urges to rape were growing less frequent. Their pastor was pleased with his right hand man's progress, for his amazing charismatic gifts were in strong demand, along with the dramatic signs and wonders that followed.

To be continued…

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The 8-Sentence Weekend Writing Warriors Blog-Hop Challenge: Each week, participants sign up HERE at WeWriWa, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between 12:00 noon Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST.  Then we visit each other, read, comment, critique, encourage–all those great things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

Sue

Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate her way out of hell to a rich and satisfying life. In her lifetime, Susan has served in duties ranging from home school mom – to pastor –  to full-time deliverance minister – and to Midwest regional prayer coordinator for a large international ministry. These days you can usually find Susan soaking in her favorite hot springs pool, reading a book (or several), blogging, baking bread, or hanging out with her family and friends. You can get a free copy of Susan's upcoming book, "On the Way Home" by registering here.

Copyright 2012, Susan McKenzie, http://TeamFamilyOnline.com. Permission is granted to copy, forward, or distribute this article for non-commercial use only, as long as this copyright byline and bio, in totality, is maintained in all duplications, copies, and link references.  For reprint permission for any commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller.

{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }

Sharon O'Day August 21, 2013 at 8:09 am

It doesn't even matter that you land on this snipped with no run-up.  The images it triggers are enough to pull you in and want more.  Very, very powerful, Sue!

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Susan Schiller September 9, 2013 at 11:24 pm

Thanks so much, Sharon πŸ™‚

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marvia August 20, 2013 at 8:37 pm

uhhhh.  WoW… jaw dropped.  this is so suspenseful.  you have such a way with intrigue and words. WoW. keep at it sister.  it's riveting!

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Susan Schiller August 21, 2013 at 5:47 pm

Thanks so much, Marvia – thanks πŸ™‚

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Keri Kight August 19, 2013 at 8:50 pm

Susan, I can't wait for the next piece!  πŸ™‚

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Susan Schiller August 20, 2013 at 7:15 am

You’re a star, Keri – you shine so brightly! Thanks for your encouraging words πŸ™‚

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Lorraine McNulty August 19, 2013 at 9:55 am

Just came to this story at part 9 and now have to go and read the rest – coffee time I think!
 

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Susan Schiller August 19, 2013 at 10:02 am

Hi Lorraine… these are just snippets, not in consecutive order, but I’m glad you’re enjoying the 8 sentences – thanks πŸ™‚

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Rachael August 19, 2013 at 8:50 am

You are so talented Susan. Great post. 

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Susan Schiller August 19, 2013 at 9:26 am

Hi Rachael – it’s good to meet you. Thanks for coming by and sharing!

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Millie Burns August 18, 2013 at 11:14 pm

You've done such an excellent job with this.  She is a strong woman, whether she realizes it yet or not.  She hasn't failed the test…she knows how to play the game well.  She is a fighter!  So much hope hiding in the background of this story.  And that's just what everyone needs…hope.

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Susan Schiller August 19, 2013 at 6:57 am

Hi Millie – I’m so glad the Hope is shining through – thanks! She really hates the game and exposing seems the best way to fight.

I hope you had a great weekend with your family, a wonderful lake, and a wakeboard!

Thanks so much, Millie – you”ve helped me more than you know!

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Steven Montano August 18, 2013 at 7:59 pm

Wow. Terrific 8. I love that opening line — chilling!

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 8:47 pm

Thanks, Steven, for traveling over here – have a good week!

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Elaine Cantrell August 18, 2013 at 6:40 pm

Chilling eight. Well done.

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 7:06 pm

Thanks for coming by, Elaine! πŸ™‚

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Debbie August 18, 2013 at 4:25 pm

Sounds like a very dark story and completely intriguing.  Excellent hook with the pastor's right-hand man being a rapist.  

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 4:33 pm

I love beauty and truth, light and love… writing the “dark” stories (for me) can only be to contrast something much more powerful than many of us realize… and I write to give survivors hope. I wish the stories didn’t have to be so dark – but thank you so much, Debbie, for coming by and sharing – I appreciate you! πŸ™‚

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Karen Michelle Nutt August 18, 2013 at 4:13 pm

Chilling to think the pastor's right hand man is a rapist. What a dark scene where evil can thrive among us.

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 4:24 pm

There are more good people than bad ones… but when they congregate in one church, or in one community, it can certainly raise a lot of havoc… but love never fails and truth always prevails… that is what Sara and Laura learned. Thanks so much, Karen –Β  I appreciate you πŸ™‚

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Eleri Stone August 18, 2013 at 4:12 pm

Wow! Creepy as heck but so well written. 

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 4:23 pm

Thanks for coming by – your support means a lot, Eleri!

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Aheila August 18, 2013 at 2:51 pm

Oh, this is twisted. Both the summary of the story and the scene itself. There's no explicit violence except for that sentence about his description of the ways he could use the knifes, and yet we feel the potential for violence in every word and it's chilling.

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 3:44 pm

It’s a twisting that is not easy to unravel, when you’re mixed into a cult that is doing so many good things for their community… the violence is off-scene, but there will be two “accidental deaths” coming up. Even so, the worst violence there is, is psychological, I’m convinced…Β  Thanks, Aheila, for visiting today πŸ™‚

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Teresa Cypher August 18, 2013 at 2:14 pm

Chilling, Susan. The whole story has me so intrigued. I think you must be an incredibly strong person!  Wonderful 8 πŸ™‚

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Hi Teresa… I appreciate you coming today. It’s not an easy story to write, on so many levels… I really do appreciate you πŸ™‚

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Sue Ann Bowling August 18, 2013 at 1:35 pm

A rapist is the pastor's right hand man?

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 1:54 pm

The discovery was just the tip of the iceberg…

Thanks for stopping in, Sue – blessings!

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Sarah W August 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

The premise of this story is simply fascinating!  I thought snake handling churches were frightening, but this is even more so . . .

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Sarah W August 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

The premise of this story is simply fascinating!  I thought snake handling churches were frightening, but this is even more so . . .

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 1:55 pm

The best place for evil to work unmolested in right out in the open, cloaked in “good” and “light” … This was only the beginning of her discoveries… it does have a good ending, though πŸ™‚

Thanks so much, Sarah, for stopping in – I appreciate you!

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Alisha Robinson August 18, 2013 at 12:31 pm

Wow what a dark and powerful snippet, thank you for the share!

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 1:56 pm

Thanks, Alisha… I wish it weren’t so dark… but there’s a lot of good upahead, too πŸ™‚ Thanks so much for coming in πŸ™‚

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Veronica Scott August 18, 2013 at 12:30 pm

OK wow, intense and scary! I was intrigued, worried about your character's well being…so really a terrific excerpt!

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 1:57 pm

It’s taken many years to come this far in sharing her story – thanks, Veronica!

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Lauren Smith August 18, 2013 at 11:30 am

Great excerpt! It's so dark! But it's haunting in a good way. I feel thoroughly creeped out and worried for the heroine and that's the way it should be! Excellent conflict developed!

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 11:32 am

Thanks so much, Lauren… the best “dark” is cloaked in acts of light, right out in the open, but most people don’t recognize it…. thanks so much!

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Karysa Faire August 18, 2013 at 10:58 am

Huh. I'm in the dark, but in a good way… great set-up… Sara's fear and stubborn strength came through clearly.

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 11:11 am

I may have jumped too far ahead in the story for it to make sense, but I appreciate you reading and sharing your feedback, Karysa – thanks so much!

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Susan Schiller August 18, 2013 at 10:35 am

Hi Linda,

Sara dreams of Laura quite a lot, although not every night. She has no one to talk to about the incredible trauma happening in her "day life" and so her subconscious mind is busy every night coaching her how to escape… but more than that, how to be victorious. To not only survive, but to thrive.

Thanks so much for stopping by to read and share feedback – I appreciate you!

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Linda Hamonou August 18, 2013 at 1:30 am

Sometimes saying "no" is just so hard.

Is she dreaming of Laura all the time when she sleeps?

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