Moonlight Escape, Part 10


Moonlight Escape, Part 10  WeWriWa Snippet August 25

By: Susan Schiller

   Previously: Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9

Welcome and thanks so much for visiting today – your helpful comments have inspired me to keep writing and are helping me to improve – THANKS!

Synopsis: This is a true story that I'm slowly rewriting into fiction. Laura, whose name means "Victorious One," is the main character in Sara's dreams. Sara's dream life closely parallels and links to her conscious life, supplying her with uncanny wisdom that fuels her escape to freedom. For the first time, we meet Sara, the woman who has been dreaming of the escape. Sara is traveling, having just pulled over to the side of the road due to a storm, pondering how long they will allow her to live. She has discovered the truth behind her church's amazing signs and wonders and now the church leaders have threatened her life.

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This week's snippet…

It became quiet and still as the fast-moving storm rumbled eastward. Visibility was gradually increasing. If she hurried, at least she could check into the Best Western in time to get a good night’s sleep. Sara leaned across the seat and grabbed her map.

Just then, the car's interior lit up with a blinding light. All she could see were two blazing headlights bearing down on her Mustang. It was not as if the other vehicle were swerving out of control on the slippery pavement; no it was more like a tank accelerating to ram her side of the car! There was no warning, no time to escape. Sara sat up and grabbed the steering wheel hard, as if by sheer will-power she could avoid the collision, just as the black Chevy van collided into the Mustang with a screeching rage of metal on metal.

To be continued…

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The 8-Sentence Weekend Writing Warriors Blog-Hop Challenge: Each week, participants sign up HERE at WeWriWa, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between 12:00 noon Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST.  Then we visit each other, read, comment, critique, encourage–all those great things that do a solitary writer's heart good.


Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate her way out of hell to a rich and satisfying life. In her lifetime, Susan has served in duties ranging from home school mom – to pastor –  to full-time deliverance minister – and to Midwest regional prayer coordinator for a large international ministry. These days you can usually find Susan soaking in her favorite hot springs pool, reading a book (or several), blogging, baking bread, or hanging out with her family and friends. You can get a free copy of Susan's upcoming book, "On the Way Home" by registering here.

Copyright 2012, Susan McKenzie, Permission is granted to copy, forward, or distribute this article for non-commercial use only, as long as this copyright byline and bio, in totality, is maintained in all duplications, copies, and link references.  For reprint permission for any commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller.

{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

Princess Shimari August 29, 2013 at 6:39 pm

You are certainly a talented writer. Nice to have a preview of your work. 


Susan Schiller August 29, 2013 at 7:58 pm

Thanks so much for taking time to read and share, Princess – I’m grateful to you ๐Ÿ™‚


Keri Kight August 27, 2013 at 10:41 pm

What a thriller Susan.  You certainly keep your audience on the edge of their seats. ๐Ÿ™‚


Susan Schiller August 28, 2013 at 6:30 am

It’s something new for me… thanks, Keri ๐Ÿ™‚


Lynn Crain August 27, 2013 at 1:41 am

Wow! What a powerful snippet! Can't wait to see what happens to Sara.


Susan Schiller August 27, 2013 at 6:22 am

It's great to meet you, Lynn… thanks so much for sharing and also for Tweeting ๐Ÿ™‚


Teresa Cypher August 26, 2013 at 7:47 am

You do a great job of infusing tension into your writing, Susan! ๐Ÿ™‚  Good 8!


Susan Schiller August 27, 2013 at 6:21 am

Thanks – your comment means a lot, Teresa!


Caitlin August 26, 2013 at 12:06 am

I love the image of her grabbing the wheel, even knowing it won't help. Though I do question her not stomping on the brakes, since she sees it coming… even if it doesn't help, I'd think it would be an automatic reaction.


Susan Schiller August 26, 2013 at 6:56 am

That’s a great observation, Caitlin…. it’s hard to fit everything into 8 sentences, but in this chapter, Sara is parked alongside the road, waiting out a blinding storm. Thanks so much for coming by and sharing! ๐Ÿ™‚


Linda Hamonou August 25, 2013 at 11:32 pm

It was so normal before that van arrived out of nowhere. I can see why she didn't have time to react.


Susan Schiller August 26, 2013 at 6:58 am

Thanks, Linda…. you’re right – the attack came literally out of nowhere, even though she was already half-suspecting something might happen. Thanks so much for coming by ๐Ÿ™‚


Sue Ann Bowling August 25, 2013 at 8:39 pm

Has me wondering what's coming next.


Susan Schiller August 25, 2013 at 9:50 pm

Hi there Sue!

Well, the immediate “next” is not too good ๐Ÿ™‚

Thanks so much for stopping in… I hope it means you’re feeling better!


Elaine Cantrell August 25, 2013 at 6:25 pm

Wow, tense! Great excerpt.


Susan Schiller August 25, 2013 at 6:28 pm

Thanks so much, Elaine ๐Ÿ™‚


Robbie MacNiven August 25, 2013 at 6:14 pm

Really powerful, and with so few sentences to play with. It's basically its own little self-contained story. Great work! 


Susan Schiller August 25, 2013 at 6:29 pm

It’s a great challenge to fit everything into 8 sentences, isn’t it? Thanks so much Robbie – it’s great to meet you ๐Ÿ™‚


Summer Ross August 25, 2013 at 4:19 pm

Love the descriptions on this one. Great snippet.


<a href="">My Blog</a> 


Susan Schiller August 25, 2013 at 6:30 pm

Thanks so much, Summer… what a gorgeous name you have! It’s good to meet you – thank you for reading and offering feedback!


Veronica Scott August 25, 2013 at 10:51 am

Very scary scene and so much goes on in this story, based on the snippets so far!! Another excellent excerpt.


Susan Schiller August 25, 2013 at 12:58 pm

Hi Veronica,

Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging words! I read your author page on Amazon – you have a beautiful story ๐Ÿ™‚


Cindy Amrhein August 25, 2013 at 10:44 am

Oh my, scary scene! Very intense. You left us with a cliff hanger this week!


Susan Schiller August 25, 2013 at 12:57 pm

Hi Cindy,

Thank you so much for coming by and reading – it means a lot ๐Ÿ™‚


Millie Burns August 25, 2013 at 9:00 am

Screeching rage of metal on metal…so scary.  Nice job Susan!


Susan Schiller August 25, 2013 at 9:41 am

You’re so kind, Millie – thank you so much for coming each Sunday to read and to share – I truly appreciate you! ๐Ÿ™‚


Lauren Smith August 25, 2013 at 8:43 am

Great snippet! I'm on the edge of my seat. You've written the action part of this perfectly and I can really feel her fear and panic!


Susan Schiller August 25, 2013 at 9:40 am

Thanks soย  much for helping to evaluate this, Lauren – I really appreciate you!


charmaine gordon August 25, 2013 at 7:57 am

Exciting eight. Thanks Susan for writing so well you took my breath away when the collision occured.


Susan Schiller August 25, 2013 at 9:40 am

Hello Charmaine – it reallyย  helps to get feedback and I appreciate you reading and sharing – THANKS! ๐Ÿ™‚


Adrienne deWolfe August 24, 2013 at 9:39 pm

Sue, this is AWESOME. Good build of suspense.  The emotion and description of the action were balanced perfectly.  Enjoyed it thoroughly, and am looking forward to more!




Susan Schiller August 25, 2013 at 9:39 am

Hi Adrienne… I appreciate you sharing feedback – thanks so very much! ๐Ÿ™‚


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