Kimberly and Joshua Dimick Speak on Marriage, Divorce, and Recovering from Spiritual Abuse

Kimberly Dimick and her husband, Joshua Dimick, know how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and careers, and so much more. Together and separately they have walked the path of Love, a narrow path, a path that is lonely and not well-used.

They intimately understand the soul-shattering pain of separation and divorce and they also know "The Way Home" to a life of choosing unconditional love.

The surprising answers to a happy marriage are shared in her posts, articles, and their book-in-progress.

As you venture on this journey with Kimberly and Josh you will experience how God shines His most brilliant light in her darkest hours. Today their mission is to provide a voice to women suffering in silence, shining the Light of Truth into the dark places.

As you journey with Kimberly and Josh you will witness a true life transformation that will shatter the misinformation and lies commonly fed to women that keep them in false submission.

Check out the titles below that may interest you, and let us know if you have a question for Kimberly and Josh and we'll do our best to post their answers here!

My husband abused me in every way possible. He was intimidating, would go silent for months at a time, often left me alone and would go on fishing trips every weekend. He was callous and cold. He would be condescending and treat me like a child. I had no voice, no opinion, no gift to bring of any value to him. I was married but ALONE. I was UNLOVED….

The pain and anguish is now a distant dream. He is as Christ to me. Christ in  flesh and bone. I am loved. Love has conquered all. We pray we will never forget the place God found us. We want our scars. I am in awe of God and my husband. He is the man I dreamed he could be in the loving hands of God. I am blessed and grateful beyond expression for God's kindness toward me. An outrageously happy marriage is in progress and we are living the impossible. Read More

For twenty years I kept my wife and two sons prisoners to my tyranny. I exacted control by using rage and manipulated them by means of my blistering anger. Nothing was about love; everything was about following my rules. I expected my wife to keep an impeccably neat house at all times and always be willing to have sexual relations whenever I asked. The children were expected to always obey an endless set of rules, never have a voice except to say, “Yes, Sir.” I kept them all in fear of me. I silenced them. I broke their hearts and spirits…. After 15 years of marriage, I had beaten down their spirits. They collapsed under the weight of my disapproval and rejection. I could extract nothing more from them, so I abandoned them.

… It has been 20 months now and I cannot remember the last time we have argued or had cross words. Our marriage is blissful; at times, I would venture to say, pure joy…. Read More

Lord, You are her Shepherd, she is your lamb. You protect her and surround her as she is hemmed in around and about by Your powerful Spirit, in Your pasture and no other!

Lord you are extinguishing every fiery dart, every lying tongue will be stopped. Your Word declares the mouth of the foolish will receive blow upon blow and their own words will entrap them.

His own words will be a snare to him because Your Word is truth and no other word can exalt itself above Jesus, who IS the Word in this child's life. 

VICTORY has a Name, LOVE has a Name, the Word of God, has a Name, peace has a Name, Might and power have a Name, empowerment has a Name, healing has a Name, the WAY out has a Name, the truth has a Name, LIFE has a Name…..it is the Name ABOVE every Name. — Read More

dark night of the soulNone of us “knows” everything. We all go through seasons of doubt, despair and what some call the “dark night of the soul”. You are not alone…

Discovering WHO you are often means God removes obstacles and roadblocks internally and outwardly. God will even remove people and relationships that hinder His child from receiving all God has for you–you learn which bridges to burn and which ones to cross. We learn to trust Jesus because part of deepening love and trust is what you go through together and what you learn in that process. You were never built to go it alone.I don’t have to be like anyone else or have their gifts or smarts or beauty….   Read More

Giving up is beyond that. I remember one night I was outside in the van crying, hysterically, to the point of losing my breath. It was pouring out and the rain was coming down, as if I had parked underneath a waterfall. Suddenly, laying there in this pathetic and emotionally unbearable place, I said to God through the sobbing,"That's it! I can't do this, I can't cope with the onslaught of thoughts and feelings that consume me and will not shut up. I can not do this and I won't!"

Somehow, somehow, I cried out in this brokenness…."I lay down now God, I just lay down. I collapse right here and I don't care if its wrong or right."  Out of nowhere, this peace came over me I have never, ever, ever felt. It was like God's tangible presence filled the car and not one thing could touch me. This calm came over my whole being but I was still aware of everything. I would have to say it was the most supernatural experience I have ever had in my life. This lasted for weeks. … I was never the same person again.      Read More

What you need to know is that God IS WITH YOU in the fire and has jumped in the waters with you. He IS your life preserver. He is protecting you by hovering over you the way He hovered over the waters in deep darkness at Creation.

He is ReCREATING you, your situation, your life. He hovers in the darkness and we do not expect God to show up there. THEN, out of nowhere He SPEAKS. He speaks into the darkness and it flees from us. Light overtakes everything. And we are in AWE.

He comes under the cover of dark clouds because He sneaks up on your enemies. They do not expect God to show up that way either. He utters His voice and they are confused. They fight each other. They destroy each other because they can not see through the darkness. They suddenly leave you alone because they are too busy turning on each other.   Read More

You are BEAUTIFUL. Kindness is always in your hand and in your speech. You have remained sensitive and sweet even though you have been through more in your life than most face in a lifetime. You have so much to give to others.

I see a river of joy coming to your desolate places and watering those places within that are dry and cracked. I see that river gaining momentum and carrying away your sorrows, that have taken hold of you like the roots of a tree go down, but the power of its torrent pulls them out.

I see God replanting you, a planting of the Lord and new roots are going down deep, deep deep and nothing can in any way shake you from the place HE has planted youGod knows how you feel like darkness envelops you behind those clouds–but clouds will give way to sunshine! Look, sweet one, Jesus will rescue you because He loves you. He really loves you. 

Even when God uproots or overthrows it is so He can plant, and rebuild, restore and ESTABLISH you, firmly and forever in HIS LOVE.   Read More

 

 

My Silence Made Me Evil’s Accomplice

I remember God also telling me…"well, so you think because you were a lamb led to the slaughter and you opened not your mouth makes you holy, daughter? Should THAT response apply to your husband's abuse at all? Really, daughter? Wasn't it fear rather than righteousness? What does righteousness and love have to do with fear in the face of WRONG?"

Sometimes, when God asks me a question….He asks in such a way that I HAVE my answer!! I am the kind of girl who stays quiet when being wronged. I am silent and withdrawn. I don't kick and scream and curse like a sailor. I didn't retaliate and go off on my husband in those days. I remained kind and sweet and the best little servant you ever saw. I would try harder and be so good. You would think I was a saint. It was ALL a lie!  Read More

Divorce in an Abusive Home: Handling the Fears of What Will Happen to the Children

 

I have not left you or your sons as an easy target because I will contend with those who contend with you and I SHALL SAVE YOUR CHILDREN.

Like Joshua and Caleb of old, you will stand up for the truth even at the risk to your own life. Many people will be angry at you and want to throw stones at you. They will have murder in their hearts and want to chose rulers who agree with their fears rather than risk everything to believe in My promises. They will not want you to have the freedom I am giving you because they are still blind to their own captivity. They are afraid too. Be kind and gentle with them as i open their eyes but continue to fight for justice and right. One day others will see your freedom and want to be free too. Yes, they will see their own giants but they will not turn back either. They will believe like Joshua and Caleb that I really am God.

There are some who will want you to turn back and be a good girl pretending that evil is alright because you suffer for some greater good. Do NOT believe them.

Suffering at the hands of a husband or any abuser is not suffering for any good at all nor is it done for My namesake. Do not go back to your Egypt. Do not go back to legalism nor listen any longer to Pharisees as their unjust laws are of mere men who refuse to love like their God. Do not believe the lies that can bind your heart to falsehood, confusing you.   Read More…

 Escape to Freedom: Diary of a Battered Preacher’s Wife – Chapter 12 – “Straight Talk, Wife-to-Wife”

 

I stood in faith for 22 years and 6 years of separation because I believed with my whole being God can do anything. I had all the same questions you do. I struggled with the same struggle. My mind went on faith tilt over the same confusion you are feeling. I could not see what everybody else could see.

Did I mean to be stubborn and blind? NO, of course not. God saw my tender, merciful heart. He knew my motives.

God had to intervene in my life to stop the madness of the cycle I was in. It had nothing at all to do with my faith and everything to do with understanding the TRUTH.   Read More…

 

Avoid this Trap: Standing Under A Distorted Command of “Submission”

The following letter was written to a woman who was enduring false submission to her abusive husband during the same time that Kimberly was divorcing Joshua. Kimberly and Joshua were going through a divorce, at the time this letter was written. In extreme vulnerability, Kimberly bares her heart and shares the entire process and theology behind divorcing a spouse, in the case of abuse. Read More

When “Grace” Becomes Evil’s Accomplice

With Kimberly's gracious permission, I am sharing her words to me a few years ago, when I was so unwilling to let go of my marriage.

I felt "if I just give him more grace and love him more, our marriage can be saved". For pathological relationships, normal counseling and normal "grace" does not work. Our grace empowers our abuser and we unwittingly become evil's accomplice. Find out why…

Read More

 

One cannot entertain abuse and come out unscathed. God tells us in His Word to flee an angry man and have nothing to do with a man who mocks God. When we have to deal with a man who persistently and consistently chooses himself rather than doing the right thing then you have a foolish and wicked man on your hands.

God talks about people that are predatory. Your boyfriend pretends to have a real affection for you but only so he can get what HE WANTS. As soon as you confront him he may give you backlash! The very reason a woman does not give consequences or put her foot down is because she fears his reprisal. She is afraid he will leave her high and dry.  Read More…

God wants you to know that He is NOT taken aback at your brutal honesty, your questions, your vulnerability. He does SEE you and He IS listening. He understands that you can not see the end from the beginning. The Lord knows that your eyesight is limited and your view has been blocked. He is a compassionate God who sees your frailty and knows your back is up against the the wall….all you can see is what is in front of you and can not see yet the way out. BUT, the end of the thing has not been seen yet.

You may feel as if the darkness has enveloped you but the Lord will not let you go, will not let your enemy win when all is said and done. Your enemy is looking for you but you are hidden. You feel scared because you see the battlefield and think you are in the actual battle but in fact you are out of the reach of the enemy and looking DOWN on the battlefield and soon you will see a turnaround and watch as God sends your enemy into derision. Even for many of you your husbands will be seen for who they really are and you will be vindicated. Their ways are going to catch up with them and YOU will not need to lift a finger.  Read More

What do you do when a loved one hurts you over and over and over again? What is biblical due process in the case of what appears to be domestic violence?

What most people do is get hurt, stuff it, never say anything directly to the person or give them a chance to make it right. They don't take other witnesses with the purpose of reconciliation, but instead, continue to talk about it to others instead of the person who hurt them.

BUT, not following the Bible in this way makes the wounded party then just as guilty as the one hurting them. Most people jump right to cutting off relationships without the process.

If the process is there and followed an there is clear refusal then cutting off relationship is good and reasonable as the other refuses to hear the other person out and that is on them.

If they do not receive the other person and remain abusive or hurtful then we are not called to keep taking that.…   Read More

An open letter to an abused and abandoned wife, a Vet, whose grief is a hundredfold because most of her friends sided with her abusive husband, a charming sociopath everyone loves to love. She drank the bitter poison offered her by her captor, making her the scapegoat for a multitude of sins committed against her.

She is grieved that her heart seems bitter from the experience of being left behind by the friends she thought were eternal friends, her spiritual home. She is praying, wondering if God cannot bless her because there may be a root of bitterness in her. She feels like her heart is a toxic waste dump and doesn't want to contaminate others around her. Isolated, she may not survive long, without intervention.  Read More

Only six months into my marriage, I was already suffering under Joshua's abuse to the point of losing my mind. I had always been a such a joyful person, so when I grew more and more depressed it sent me reeling. I could not get a handle on the depression.

One night I was literally out of my mind. I had been wrestling with suicidal thoughts the whole day and decided I would take my car and run in to a tree or oncoming traffic.

I felt God keep pressing me and so I decided to go in. Well, there were like twelve pews and in the front of the Church, standing in the pulpit, was this very small man wearing a ten gallon cowboy hat praying his heart out. I laughed to myself because this guy had to be the most ridiculous looking man I had ever seen. His hat was as big as him!

As soon as he opened his eyes and looked at me, sure enough, he came down off that platform headed right towards me….  Read More

"Where does the betrayal and injustice end???" asks a young wife, betrayed and abandoned by the one who once promised to love, honor, and cherish her till death do they part.

Kimberly Dimick responds: My heart breaks for you. I am moved with compassion for your plight and the injustice that wicked man heaps upon you. I understand your feelings of hopelessness and despairing that accompany the treachery of betrayal and sheer heartlessness of your ex. Then to add to this we feel like God, the ONLY ONE who can save us and redeem our circumstances seems so far away….

There is nothing more beautiful, than a person who in their brokenness and pain come to the end of themselves and understand it is not about your love for God that matters but the Father's love FOR YOU that makes all the difference.

ONE thing, ONLY ONE thing is needful….that you take and take and draw and draw and draw your very LIFE from Him. Psalm 116 says, "What shall I GIVE unto the Lord for ALL, HE has done FOR ME?….You think David would have said…."Lord I give you my life, my praise, I GIVE you something, anything"…but this is not what it says. David said, "I will TAKE the cup of Salvation and pray as long as I breathe."

What moves God's heart more than anything is that we TAKE, as our own, His very Salvation and ALL that this means.…   Read More

On the issue of co-dependency in MARRIAGE, we must look at this topic using Biblical due process. We want to process this subject through the lens of God's Word.

"Abused women are not co-dependent," writes Lundy Bancroft, "It is the abusers, not women, who create abusive relationships."

The Biblical MARRIAGE COVENANT is not a co-dependent relationship. We are so dependent, so inter-connected, so joined together that we ONE FLESH. According to Malachi, we are one in spirit. The Biblical MARRIAGE COVENANT is not a co-dependent relationship. I do not take "the going psychology" and fit the Bible into the World's paradigm! The marriage relationship is NOT like any other relationship….   Read More

Abba, thank you for making a better way for your children. We are leaving Egypt behind - this old life of debt, divorce, and disasters.
Your son promised us life MORE abundant, while the enemy's been testing us with diseases, destruction, and rampant murder of our
dreams and desires and destiny.

No more! I declare that I agree with You and Your Word and that we have seen the last of dread of disaster and the excruciating pain
caused by the enemy's strikes on our families.... Click here for audio version!    Read More

 

Can you feel HIS heartbeat in Kimberly's cry for justice? Can you hear the voice of the Bride?

Pat Robertson's answer should have been that this woman is in NO WAY acting in unforgiveness. Just because she is having a hard time coping with her pain and the broken trust does NOT mean she is unforgiving. Ironically, what can keep a wife in unforgiveness and bitterness in a marriage is taking away their voice to speak the truth about how they feel.

When a wife feels that she has lost her power of choice, the power to act on truth then she grows weary, frustrated and eventually her bitter circumstances can lead to a bad place. Robbing a wife of her right to process the pain of her husband's affair!Read More

Care to listen to the audio, rather than read? Click here :)

This is a powerful prayer and it really works to change your circumstances when you read it, listen to it, write it in your own words, draw a picture of it – and make it your own!

Arise worship warriors, arise! For your God has seen your low estate and He has heard your cries from on high.

Right in the midst of the taunting of your enemy there is coming a roar and loud cry in the heavens over your lives that will drown out the voice of your enemy. Its reverberations will shake your enemy loose from your lives and cut him off long before he can get to you.

You see your chains BUT your God hears your praise. You see and feel the wind and stormy seas around about you BUT I see a glorious new day over your horizon… You feel the quaking under your feet but it is I who is causing it. I am shaking all that can be shaken and just as it was in Peter's prison long ago…..the chains will fall off and you will walk out of your prison untouched and unscathed. —  Read More

Dear sister, my heart goes out to you. I understand the emotional and spiritual exhaustion you feel at this point. I know you have tried everything there is to position your husband to obey and love God. You have honored God in the face of being tested to your very core. ANY woman unloved by her husband, causes God to tremble. Rejection is the antithesis of LOVE and everything God Himself stands for.  First, I want to say, I believe you!

Your marriage relationship and how it is affecting you is just as painful an experience as anyone's. I know that you tend to measure your level of pain against others. God does not see us like this. No one has lived your life or understands the circumstances, events, the wounding or the number of tears you have cried. No one knows what you have dealt with in the secret place of your mind and heart. The Lord loves you individually and loves everything about you and His heart breaks over everything that makes your heart breaks. There is no child of God that when they are crushed in spirit He is not moved to His depths too. —   Read More

To hang naked between heaven and earth, to be brutalized in every conceivable way gives a husband a picture of the cost of love. What many think as degrading, what we think of as a reproach; is what Christ was willing to do to prove His love.

God earned our love??? How can this be? We can not fathom this. Yet, even our own selfishness and ignorance did not hold Him back from a Cross. Jesus chose it for us.  He chose to lay His life down freely without one thought for Himself. This is AMAZING love.
We who mock sacrifice could only be redeemed because of it. It is not demonstrated with only trite words and phrases. It was not a half-hearted attempt but a love that went the distance…..a Bridegroom who chose death and the grave to show the whole world a living picture of love's truest meaning.

Christ's death opened the floodgates of the Father's heart to every living soul. Though we fight it, we run from it, we hide and make excuses why we have no need of so great a love……there will never be any way of escaping the awe and wonder of the God who IS love.…   Read More

I find that many ministers are not bold enough to confront men about being tyrants in their homes.

So MANY women are silenced–their voices squelched from even crying out to be rescued. Why? The Church will not believe her. This is the worst stain upon the Church.

Usually, the going teaching is to tell women to stay in abusive marriages. The going patriarchal teaching is a breeding ground for such abuses being allowed to continue under our noses. We need to heed God's anger at injustice!

Being a by-stander to abuse and never speaking up or speaking out means that we are as guilty as the perpetrator.  Read More

Tweet Prayer for a Child at Risk By: Kimberly Dimick We cry out for justice and mercy in Heaven's court, because the earthly justice system is inadequate at best, and abusive to abuse victims, at worst. Father, Romans 8 tells us that when we do not know how to pray or even what we ought […]

 

 

 

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Do you have questions you'd like for Kimberly and Joshua to respond to? I will do my best to post their replies here, so if you will, please email me with your questions and comments, or for an ever faster response, please write in the comment box below! I generally respond to comments within the first 48-hours. 🙂

To meet other special team Family members, hop over to our Team page. These are the people who helped rescue and restore me and hundreds of other people from abusive religion and homes! Together, we are finding our way Home, because the Family is the Backbone of Society and God wants us to be fully healed and restored – living the great adventure of wholehearted living!

Copyright 2010-2014 Kimberly and Joshua Dimick's stories and articles are copyrighted under their own names. For more information, please contact TeamFamilyOnline.com.

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