Sleepwalking Through Life – The Cure

By: Susan Deborah Schiller  in the series "Create Your World"

Have you ever felt like you were constantly in a state of reacting to what is happening around you?

Shari, a reader, shared the following story with me:

"I feel dead. It started 10-years ago and it's only gotten worse. The doctors gave me an EEG and it showed my brain activity as "sleeping". It's like I'm sleep-walking through life. My thinking is fuzzy and I even have trouble making a grocery list. I go through the motions of leading a Bible Study and I teach prayer at church. I react by doing what is expected of me. I feel like an automaton!

I minister to the needy and I'm functional as a pastor's wife. But sometimes I wonder if I'm missing God's calling, that I'm not fulfilling my true purpose.

My husband travels internationally as an evangelist, and I don't want to do anything that will bring shame to him or the ministry. I've tried to get help, but everyone just tells me I'm okay.

I'm NOT OKAY! I've tried talking to friends and asking for prayer, but ultimately whatever I share is used against me by the incessant gossiping. I don't want to hurt anyone with my distress. So now I keep quiet and I keep doing what I know I'm supposed to do.

I feel like my brain is an empty vessel, waiting to be filled. It's like I can't function unless someone tells me what to do, who to be.

I feel lost. I feel like I've lost ME! I can't picture myself as going anywhere. It's like tomorrow doesn't exist. Do I even exist?

One of the greatest life lessons I've learned is that I have a choice. And my life is a sum total of all those choices. As such, I am in charge of my destiny. I can begin to take responsibility for changing the atmosphere, for bringing light into the darkness… meaning into the chaos. I stop reacting and begin creating.

If my thoughts reflect my inner fears, worries, doubts, and unbelief, I create a state of being that is blind to the Light. I am part of the darkness and the chaos caused by darkness.

Remember, the cause of Chaos in this world is directly related to our thoughts! And when a large part of the population live in fear, shame, sorrow… or worse yet, greed, manipulation, and power, Chaos rules and the Dark rises regionally and globally, as well as personally.

Every part of our story that lies in darkness has the potential to plague us with its landmines of doubts and fears which result in shrinking back, settling for less, and an unlived life… zombie world.

It may be the sum total of all the times you said no to your dreams while dutifully saying yes to society's demands. You sell your soul, inch by inch.

To sacrifice our souls, even for "good", is the greatest sin.

Here's a good picture of good as the enemy of our best:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson

What will be our wake up call? What will usher in the Dawn of your real life?

The Apostle Paul encourages us to REJOICE, and again, to REJOICE. Rejoicing and praising God are the bookends of faith, is a truth God once spoke to me in a dream. Paul also told us to keep a sharp lookout for mind invaders and to give them the boot: anything negative.

Positive thinking is pretty hard when the evil presses down on you every single day, but it's one way to rejoice.

Try giving those negative thoughts a time limit. Let's say you want to be sad. Give yourself a time limit to be sad. And then pick yourself up and rejoice!

Little by little, you'll be drawn more to the Light. You will get your life back by intentionally looking for beauty each day. Compose it in a song. Write it down in a story. Read a book. Snap a picture. Tell your story. 

For this reason it says, "Awake, sleeper, And arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you." – Ephesians 5:14

If you've been doing what is expected of you but you're bored, tired, and have trouble getting up in the morning, this is what you can do to save your life. You can wake up to a different reality, stop reacting and begin creating a new world for yourself, and when enough of us realize we've been reacting instead of creating, the world around us will respond with abundant life – the kind of real living that God's designed for us. 

Stop reacting and begin creating. You're not one of the minions of the world's system. You're not designed for automaton living. Be you. Live free. Tell a new story! Create your world!

My Full Story     What I Believe    Contact Me

With all my love,


Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.  
Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.

Copyright © 2010 to 2015 Team Family Online, All rights reserved.   For reprint permission or for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Pat Moon January 26, 2014 at 9:13 am

"Create more LIGHT in your life? The Apostle Paul encourages us to REJOICE, and again, to REJOICE. Rejoicing and praising God are the bookends of faith, is a truth God once spoke to me in a dream." I love this truth God gave you, Susan. How often do I forget to Rejoice and Praise God allowing my faith to really explode into my life?


Susan Schiller January 26, 2014 at 11:05 am

Hi Pat,

It’s so good to see you again! It’s so natural to flow in the current of whatever is happening, reacting to the waves, instead of taking charge, isn’t it…. God’s so good to show us a better way!

Thanks so much for sharing here today, Pat 🙂


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