Did I Live Fully? Did I Love Well?

Did I live fully? Did I love well?

By: Susan McKenzie

Have you ever considered what you would like your epitaph to say? Nearly every day I walk through our local cemetery, where it seems I know more people in that neck of the neighborhood than among the neighboring streets and houses.

It's the busiest graveyard I've ever seen, and it's not uncommon to meet people while watering flowers or walking through the gently curved paths, shaded by ancient oaks and maples. One day I met two friends watering a rose bush next door to my dad's grave. They pointed to nearly every single gravestone within eyesight, telling me about their friends, neighbors, and family. It was a like a family reunion, because to them, these people were still alive in their memories.

Each person was remembered for what they loved most. My friend was tending the grave of her recently passed husband, who also was my mom's uncle. He loved to ride his Harley! In fact, it was in changing the tire of his motorcycle that his heart gave out… and I wonder, did he regret changing that tire? Or was simply the love of a fresh spring morning that beckoned an 80-some year old to ride, at least once more, that day?

Some gravestones are engraved with bowling pins, some with a list of degrees and diplomas earned, some with hearts entwined and names engraved, like lover's initials carved into a tree. One gravestone has a love message engraved on solid rock with all the living family members' names, promising to meet their son/brother again soon.

As I wander each day through this cemetery I know so well, since childhood, I ask myself, what do you want to be remembered for?

It's simply four words: "She Gave Her All."

I don't want to hold back. There's a God-given purpose for each of our lives. It's lies in our dreams. It's what makes us passionate, even obsessed, about that one thing.

I've wasted too many years trying to be someone that others felt I should be, and doing what others needed me to do. I don't regret being of some service. But there's a call on my little life, too.

Many people buy into the 40-year slave plan, and hope that when they retire they can follow their dreams. You work hard for your boss for 40-years, save money to retire, and then pursue your dreams… a second childhood, sort of.

My friend Murray Lincoln, a pastor and missionary of 40-years, planned his life that way. But at age 64, life took a sudden dip, like an unwelcome roller coaster ride, and he lost his retirement, his job, and almost his dreams.

In the economic crisis of 2008 many other people also suddenly realized retirement was not going to be as promising as they thought. People in my generation (late-Baby Boomer) are beginning to realize there may be NO retirement for our us.

As more people opt-out of the 40-year slave plan, we are discovering that pursuing our passions and living our dreams NOW is the only way to live life fully, to love well.

It's not easy. My friend Michelle is a 40-ish massage therapist. She has a big dream, of building a healing center in Wyoming. When I met Michelle she and I were both homeless and had escaped abusive situations. I was talking to her yesterday, and she made this comment, "I'm getting paid to do what I love, what better life could you ask for?"

Michelle didn't wait until her circumstances were perfect. She didn't wait until she had money to open up a place of business. She was living, at that time, out of her van. I never heard a negative word from Michelle! She never once complained. Now she has her own house and has established a good reputation for her services. She is in demand as a mobile massage therapist.

My friend Michael was also a homeless man who arrived in Wyoming about the same time as Michelle and I. He has a big dream, too, of building houses for the homeless, but not just houses – a community where people live in love. He also decided to follow his dreams, but like Michelle, he didn't let his circumstances dictate what was possible or impossible. He just went about serving people, almost never charging for his services.

What made him the most happy was helping a person out whose vehicle was broken down alongside a road. It truly made Michael HAPPY to serve in that way. Michael now has his own apartment and a steady stream of jobs, doing what he loves most.

Michelle and Michael paid a great price to follow their dreams. Murray went through his time of tears, too. I could name a dozen more names on this list of friends who have decided to follow their dreams. And I guess I can now put my name on the list, too…. maybe that's why I love these friends so much, because they have inspired me to "give my all" and to follow my dream.

My dream life is to be a woman of prayer. I want to follow in the footsteps of Madeleine L'Engle, who demonstrated to me the possibility of such a life. Mornings are spent in writing. Afternoons are spent praying outdoors. Evenings are devoted to family, and include both good food for the body and food for the soul (conversation, books, movies, etc). 

In my writing, I want to picture the world the way it's meant to be lived, as we all choose love. Heaven in the real world, the way home, as I call it. It's contrasted against the world's system, as it is today, because that is where I invested most of my life. I want to be a collector of wisdom, to tell the stories, like our ancestors used to do before television was invented.

Telling our stories helps us not only to recover our souls, individually and collectively, but it also writes the script of our lives, personally and corporately.

So now, my friend, it's your turn. Tell your story!

What do you want to be known for? What is your passion? Leave me a comment below. Include a link to your own website, if you wish. I want to know what your passion is!

Let's write your life message together, including photos, in a 20-25 page heirloom quality book. It's  cheap (free!) and it's quick (4-weeks) and it only takes a few minutes each day. How about joining me on this quest to write a life story book…

So, let's do it!Hit the download button below and then I'll meet you on the other side!

Tagged as: Choosing Love Today, Deborah White Dove, Life Story Writing, On the Way Home, Writing a Life Story