… So Be What You Want Them To Be. (David Bly)
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
A writing prompt and example to help create your own memoir!
I was a surprise to my parents. A surgeon’s knife, in removing most of mom’s ovaries, predicted she would never be able to conceive a child… and for years her womb was closed. But she hoped and prayed, “God if You give me a child, I will raise it in the Light.” Not long afterward, she found herself with morning sickness, and within five years Dad was building us a new larger home for four children.
My mom kept her promise to God by tucking us in bed each night, teaching us to say, “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” And later, in church, we learned the “Our Father” prayer. But it just seemed like something was missing… that there should be something more.
I sought guidance from my Dad, who to a 5-year old’s mind, was the wisest person on earth, “Daddy, what’s the best way to pray?” Kneeling next to my bed I clasped my hands together, fingers pointing up. Dad was silent. Next, I slightly bent my fingers, hesitantly glancing up to see if I had found the right posture. Nothing. So I closed my cupped hands and bent my head. Dad finally replied that he just didn’t know. It was the first time I had heard "I don't know" come from his mouth and I was puzzled.
Dad was a deep thinker and very well read. He always had a ready answer for any question before that time and after that time, but I had learned that it was best not to ask him anything about God. Dad was born into a Catholic home, but he had left the faith many years back.
Mom was born into an Anglican heritage, but her answers to my questions always ended up with teaching me that faith is a personal, private matter, between God and a person. She may not have realized it at the time, but it was the perfect answer, for me!
Still not getting it, I jumped over their heads to God himself. I decided to try asking Him for help. “God, how can I know you better?” In the back of my mind I heard a small voice saying, “You know how to pray, “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.” At first I was thrilled with that answer, but it wasn’t anything more than I already knew. So I dared to ask God again, “Yes, I know that prayer. But do You have anything else that would help?” Again, a small voice deep inside replied, “You know the ‘Our Father’ prayer.” So I said both prayers back-to-back, even repeating them over and over again to see if that would satisfy my hungry soul … but still something seemed missing.
So I dared return to God and said, “It's so short to pray those prayers – do you have something more?” It seemed to me to be very dangerous complaining to the Creator of the Universe, but I had nowhere else to go. I was beginning to get seriously frustrated! Years later I was to learn that frustration, desperation, and hunger are GOOD! They are the very things that lead us to the greater gifts.
Almost immediately, a thought blinked into my mind, as if a light switch had suddenly flipped on. I began thanking God for anything and everything. From that point on, I began using my fertile imagination to thank God for everything from caves to turtles to magnifying glasses! It was such a fun discovery!
As time progressed, my interviews with God became more complex, and the answers did not always seem to come right away… but there has never been a prayer that has gone unanswered. There were yet some “divine setups” that had to take place and there would be some divine encounters that had to be arranged, but God had laid a foundation based on intimacy with Him that would keep me grounded for a lifetime.
I've often wondered if my mother's prayer and promise to God set in motion a purpose for my life, because as I think back on the birth of my own children it seemed that even while they were growing in that secret place inside my womb I could see glimpses and shadows of their lives. I named each of them based on those glimpses. And now that they are all in their twenties I am seeing each child begin to walk in their destinies.
How about you… have you noticed this, as well? Do you know your purpose in life? Do you know why you were born, or the circumstances surrounding your birth?
It's all part of our story, and sadly, many people walk around like a zombie, their whole lives… working to eat and eating to work, but never feeling satisfied… perhaps the greatest source of a growing epidemic of anxiety and depression.
Recently I was in a webinar led by PJ McClure, who has been dubbed "The Mindset Maven," and he taught us a surefire way to discover our purpose in life, called "The Three-Year Old Path to Success" … not that it takes three years to find your purpose, but that you have to become like a three-year old to discover it! Asking 'why' and going deeper and deeper, by continuing to ask 'why' questions.
PJ told us that children have no limitations in their thinking. If they want to be an astronaut and fly on a space shuttle, they simply say it and believe it! He also warned us that if we are not absolutely clear on our purpose, our purpose will default to someone else. We forfeit it! That's a no win situation! I don't know about you, but to me, that's no fun! I plan to finish this race and win!
Taking us back to our own childhood, he reminded us of a children's game, usually played by girls but it applies to all of us: "I Wish… I Want… I Will…" PJ encouraged us to play that game and to begin writing down in a journal what we really wish, what we truly want, and what we will do.
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"If I could ____, I would ____."
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"My desire is to ____."
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"If I had time, I would ___."
The toughest question PJ asked us was:
"What does the world (your children, family, friends, etc) stand to lose if I fail?"
Does that question get to you, as it did to me? As I look back on my life, I realize I had strayed away, too many times to count, from my early foundation of "gratitude" God had taught me in my early years. PJ McClure, and many others, remind us that gratitude is the foundation for all other virtues. It's through gratitude that we discover intimacy with our Creator. It opens the door to all of life's blessings.
In creating a living family legacy for my children, I want to honor my parents, who even though they didn't have all the "just right" answers every time, still fostered an environment in which my hungry exploration for truth was eventually satisfied. Hunger is not a problem… really, it's our lack of hunger that creates a much worse problem. For if we satisfy ourselves with the usual addictions, fantasies, and distractions this world offers in wide variety, we lose our sense of "Home" … that place of intimacy with the very One who formed us in our mother's wombs and has a purpose and a plan for our lives.
I want to encourage my children and grandchildren that when frustrations, hunger, desperation, or anything else that seems to be an immovable obstruction in your life, use it as a stepping stone to the greater gift awaiting you. Resistance is simply an indication that something wonderful is waiting on the other side!
Whether we realize it or not, we are all writing our life story every day… in each decision we make. So why not make it pay… go ahead and write your life story. Leave a legacy for your family, even if you weren't perfect. The most popular success manual in the world, the Bible, is full of imperfect characters who made the world a better place, even despite the worst character flaws. So think forward… who in your family line will stand to lose if you fail to convey your values and your valuable life experience?
In creating your life story book, think backward, too… what were the circumstances surrounding your birth? How did your parents feel about you? Did you ever feel something was missing? What was your search like and where did it lead you?
Family is the backbone of society, and writing your story is one way to heal the broken places and to create a better legacy to leave for the next generation!
My Full Story What I Believe Contact Me
With all my love,
Sue
Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.
Today Susan helps people
write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.
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Deborah White Dove
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
My children are all so different from each other, and also different from me, but we share the same love for justice, truth, and freedom. Those values are expressed in diverse ways, through personalities that quite different, but the bottom line is that we love truth. And we love each other, no matter what.
I am proud of my children, each and every one of them, even when they make poor decisions. Where would I be today if my mother didn't love me through some of my worst decisions?
I believe God our Father is like this, too…. that He's so confident in His ability to make something beautiful out of ashes, that He cannot help but love us through our messes.
None of us would have a message at all, if we didn't have some messes. We need to fail, even to fail a lot, in order to find out what's really valuable.
If anyone threatens to withdraw love, or to prevent you from having contact with a loved one, you know you are in the presence of true evil.
So, so true!!
Thanks, Lily 🙂
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